


Cheers Roll Down: A Series Of Unfreaktunate Events

by JessicaX



Series: Cheerless Saga [5]
Category: Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Community: femmeslash, Concerts, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Gen, Goths, Internal Conflict, Kissing in the Rain, Magic Revealed, Making Out, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, New York City, POV Bisexual Character, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Suicide Attempt, Sushi, Teen Angst, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 12:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1186084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaX/pseuds/JessicaX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[CHEERLESS SAGA, Book 5/6] Sabrina has shown up unannounced in the City That Never Sleeps, which certainly means no rest for Libby. Secrets breed mistrust and resentment. Will their precariously-balanced relationship fall into place... or simply fall apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Freaking In Unannounced

_Foreword_

"There is a crucial point in every young woman's life when she passes from childhood into adulthood. For some, it comes with something directly symbolic, such as the buying of the first female support, or the first time they go home from school with their jacket tied around their waist. For others, it's something more subtle, at least to them; quitting the baseball team because their peers think it's not "girly," or throwing away all their toys that aren't Barbies. And then, there's the all-purpose divider: first love. A woman is no longer a fledgling when she falls for someone - when she develops a crush she doesn't express by throwing mud on the object of desire or kicking them in the shins.

But these are not universal truths. There are other things that help transform you into the person you're meant to be, if not do it all at once: like finding your calling, or losing a loved one. Like finding true love, or losing your innocence in one horrible night of mistakes. Like losing an age-old friendship, or gaining the purest one you've ever known. Like a fight that cuts you to the bone, or a kiss that lights up the sky.

There is a crucial point in every young woman's life when she passes from childhood into adulthood... but no one can ever tell just when that moment comes. Only looking back, many years later, might it become clearer: maybe it was being promoted at your first job that taught you how valuable your career was to you, or needlessly losing your marriage that led you to founding a clinic for couples' therapy. However, despite its undeniable existence, it is far more likely that you will never be able to tell the exact moment you ceased being a person-in-training - and started living your life the way it was intended.

Beyond that, you have two choices: you can either spend your life regretting how it happened... or thank your lucky stars that it did."

\- The Jessica X

_Chapter 1: Freaking In Unannounced_

"Oh God oh God oh God oh G-"

_SLAP!_

"I needed that," I mumbled, rubbing my cheek. "Thanks... Sabrina."

"No problem!" she said, grinning from ear to ear and showcasing those perfect dimples while her blue eyes shone with a thousand different emotions. Before another thought could impose itself on me, I felt her arms squeezing the life from my poor torso. " _Ohhh,_  it's great to see you again!"

"L-likewise!" The instant she let me go, I was caught up in a second hug. "Hey!"

"Didn't wanna miss out on the love-fest!" Roxie's hug wasn't nearly as bone-crushing, but that didn't make it limp and forceless. Her nails are  _sharp!_  "How've ya been, Libbs?"

"Well, I used to be able to breathe," I wheezed. "How 'bout you guys?"

"We can take a hint," Roxie laughed, letting me down.

"Man," Sabrina was giggling, clapping her hands in front of her nose excitedly. "I can't believe we're really here!"

"Neither can I," I blurted honestly. "Seriously, how'd you get into my house? I didn't even see you when I came in!"

"Your dad, duh!" Roxie said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. "We were hiding behind that Asian privacy screen thingy; figured we'd surprise you. Jesus, woman, did you think we broke in?"

"One can never tell with you freaks," I mumbled, making a mental note to trash Mom's present the minute they left. "But- but I still don't get what you're doing in the city!"

"Spring Break," they said in unison; with a giggle, Sabrina elaborated. "We were gonna boogie on a beach in Florida, but then we realised everybody would be doing that, so... why not hit the Golden Delicious for some quality time with our favourite lead singer?"

"It's nice to be home," Roxie said placidly, staring off into space, "but I always thought of New York as more of a McIntosh... maybe a Northern Spy."

Definitely felt myself doing a double take. "Home?!"

"Yeah, home." Her brow furrowed when my blank expression didn't change. "I... grew up in Queens? Wow, did I never tell you that?"

"Um...  _no?!"_ I laughed weakly, already rubbing at my arm. "I might be prone to lapses in memory lately, but I'd hang onto that one!"

"Oops?" she breathed. "Didn't mean to keep you in the dark."

"So anyway, what's new with you?" Sabrina asked, plopping down in the easy chair. "How's school, how's the band, how's life?"

"Great, great, never better," I answered in order. "Well, I had this sorta kinda rough patch for a while, but things have been pleasant enough lately."

A sober look came over her as she crossed her legs. "Yeah, it sounded like your mom actually wanted to make some serious amends. Anything come of it?"

"Of course not," I sighed. "But things don't exactly go according to plan when y- hey, how'd you know about that?!"

Roxie's guilty frown drew my attention. "Sorry; I got bored waiting for you to get back and listened through all the messages on your machine. 'Loobyloo', huh?"

At that moment, it became official: I wanted to die. Swan dive out the window sounded fitting. More importantly, I decided to be more conscientious about deleting my messages. How many remnants of my mother's visit were going to attempt to destroy my dignity before I got rid of them?

"You're freaked," Sabrina said uneasily, incorrectly reading my expression (even if she was so very right). "We should've done the 'call first' thing, shouldn't we? Geez, I'm such a space case!"

"Got that right," I snapped. "But... oh, who cares?" I launched myself at the recliner, causing both of them to squeal in surprise. "You're here now!"

* * *

Oh, shut up and leave me alone! So what if I melted into a puddle of goo? Two-and-a-half months is a long time, especially after the non-verbal way we last parted company - and drama notwithstanding, I missed the little freak! Maybe this whole thing was going to ruin my life again, and maybe I should've been biting her head off for shutting me out for so long, but looking at that eager face - correction, those  _two_ eager faces - I couldn't. I just couldn't.

Meanwhile, the following hard-to-understand paragraphs are intended for anyone who may or may not have found the book of my memoirs ripped into sections, and this is the only part they got. It's also useful for people like Morgan who flip to the back of the book and read the last part, and therefore have no clue what's going on -  _CHEATERS!_ Anyway, some annoying and redundant recapping follows:

* * *

Hail and well met, fellows! I am called Libby of Chessler, and lo, once before and far away, I was a Queen that wrote of herself in the third person (temporarily; bear with me, here). Her loyal subjects kissed her ass- uh, her ring, and did all she bade them. However, there came a rogue vagabond from a far away kingdom who obeyed not the Queen's orders. This maiden shone as the sun in dark corners, and her laughter loosed even the grumpiest of denizens. The Queen and the peasant girl grew as enemies; both were of a different cloth, and saw not worth in each other's eyes - but hark! For a wizard of words bound them as one, and only through an unholy union could they best the tasks set before them. Thus the two sides of a farthing became compatriots and overcame adversity! Huzzahs!

Their story would not end there, good Lords and Ladies - nay! The Queen became something fond of her former foe, and even without the wizard's power their fellowship thrived, growing deeper and more profound. Alas, the Queen was dethroned and driven from the land by a wicked tyrant, imprisoned in a gilded cage for many a fortnight. However, the fortnights turned to seasons, and the seasons became an age, and the Queen escaped her torment at last... but found her kingdom had spurned her. No longer welcome in her castle, she fled to a new life in a far away province, where she took up with a band of troubadours - one of which captured her affection with both lute and soul.

The fates are cruel mistresses, I fear to tell thee; for the once Queen and her minstrels came to visit her kingdom of old, and whilst playing their melodies for the folk, the vagabond of old heard it on the winds, and the rivals-cum-companions reunited for a hay-fortnight of wine and song. But as is the peril of mead, a friendship was obscured by impurities. Lo, the spirits drove the Queen to partake of the maiden's lips, and she fled her native village once more, dismayed at her ill passions.

No longer could the Queen find peace in her life. The troubadours played on, but her bard of the lute could not ease the fires of her secret shame - he came to mourn their love, and thus could not bear to go on. But fear not! A servant girl formerly in the Queen's stead came to her, and though the girl sought the Queen's flesh as well, it was this very thing that led the Queen to embrace her bard and rejoin their yoke with fervour.

Alas - and be this a  _hefty_ "alas" - the maiden vagabond waxed restless in her kingdom, and began a crusade to find her former Majesty. Behold - it is here we find them, embittered yet sentimental, their paths joining again and stretching into uncharted hills, clouded as a fortune teller's crystal ball (no offence to all you fortune tellers). The fates weave their tapestry for them with caution, and much remains yet to be woven.

* * *

The above epic poem basically boils down to two questions: "What is up with all the rainbow love?" and _"WHAT THE SHIT AM I GONNA DO NOW?!"_

_END Chapter One_


	2. King, Queen and Freak of Hearts

"DEFCON 1, Ophelia!"

"What?" came her tinny reply over the cordless phone. "DEFCON- what are you talking about?"

While she was talking, I peered through a crack in the door to my room; I could just see the top of Sabrina's blonde head over the back of the recliner. "You'll never believe who's in my living room right freaking now!"

"Uh-oh... it's not-"

"It is!"

"The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man?! Ye gods!"

I sat there. How do you respond to that?

"Don't worry; I'll bring the Hershey bars and graham crackers! We'll make s'mores outta him if it's the last thing we-"

"Dammit, would you cut that out?!" I growled over her bemused cackling. "I told her I had to call work real quick, so I don't have long!"

"Her? So it's-  _oh!_  Oh Goddess, I'm sorry! If I'd known it was your- your-"

"Not  _'my'_  anything!" I hissed indignantly.

"What the hell is she doing here, how'd she get here?!"

"Nevermind that crap - what do I  _do?!_ "

There was a slight pause. "Do? Wait, aren't you happy to see her?"

I loosed a shaky sigh. "Of course I am, but- sheez, it's all so complicated now! Do we play it cool and act like there's no past between us, or do we get that messiness out of the way ay-sap, or should-"

"Hey, backpedal for a second," she giggled. "From the way you're babbling, it sounds like you'd rather go with option number one for a while."

"What option is that?" Mentally, I rewound the conversation. "Oh yeah. Really, can we do that? It's so big, and there's so much to talk about!"

"Then talk about it  _later._  How long is she going to be here?"

"From the way she made it sound... a week." I smiled. Despite how on edge I was, it sounded delightful - a week with Sabrina in my city! God, all the things we could do, the places I could show her! "Yeah, why not? I'm Libby Freaking Chessler, dammit - if anybody can pull this off, it's me! What could go wrong?"

Exactly then I heard something shatter in the kitchen; somebody shouted, "Sorry, my fault!", but it wasn't very reassuring. In fact, it felt more like an omen.

"Uhh, look, I gotta go before they decimate my house. You really think I can leave this on the back burner for a day or two?"

"Whether or not you  _can_ is up to you, but sure, I think it's worth a try. That way, if that tough conversation doesn't go well when you  _do_ get around to it..."

"...at least we had a couple days of unfettered fun first," I finished, grinning. "You're a genius, Ophie!"

"That's what they tell me in the secret laboratory. Now, go have all the fun in the world!"

"Roger!"

"Hey, wait!"

I paused with my finger on the "POWER" button. "What, what is it?"

A longer pause; I mentally pictured her staring at her boots. "Um, is it okay if I hang with you guys, at least for a couple hours? I m-mean, well, that is... I haven't seen Sabrina since graduation, either, and it'd be nice to-"

"Of course!" I answered immediately. "That'd be awesome!"

"Are you sure? I don't wanna wedge myself in there and make everything weird."

"Expect a call arranging the details," I laughed; her own anxious laughter was poorly disguised by a cough. "See you around!"

"Merry part - and good luck!"

* * *

"Libby, I swear, I wasn't even touching it - it just slipped off the coffee table, like it had a deathwish! I tried to save it, but there was nothing-"

"Relax," I sighed, shaking my head. "We've got two more mugs like it; they were giving them away free at a bookstore that's already gone out of business."

"Whew," Sabrina breathed.

There was a pretty arduous silence; we all glanced uneasily at each other, not knowing exactly what to do or say next. For a few seconds that felt like years, I was afraid the elephant in the room was going to rear its big dumb head much earlier than I was hoping - did we have to talk about this now, when they just got here? Then, Roxie snorted.

"What?" Sabrina asked.

" _What_ what? We're acting like divorcees bumping into each other at the supermarket!" She scooted forward in the wicker chair. "You guys, c'mon! We're three beautiful young women in New York City - let's go create some disaster!"

"Maybe you're right," I said with a nod; then stood up, more fervently. "Yeah! Hey, I don't have to work today - we should make a day of it! There's so much I wanna show you," I said specifically to Sabrina. "Like - oh! We have to do Fifth Avenue, you won't  _believe_ all the shopping! Saks, Tiffany's, FAO-"

"The Village is a must," Roxie interrupted. "Sure, Fifth's great if you've got a platinum card, but if you wanna find a big-screen TV for twenty bucks and a jar of chicken's feet-"

"Or we could-"

"Whoa, whoa, let the new girl breathe!" Sabrina laughed, grinning again. "We've got all week, don't we? Pace yourselves! You don't have to cram every last iota of Manhattan down my throat today!"

The two of us exchanged nervous giggles, blushing. "It's only..." I looked at my hands in my lap before glancing back up. "Sorry, I guess I'm just excited."

She nodded vigorously. "Believe me, so am I! I mean, I've been around and stuff, to Africa and Paris, but... this is somehow my first trip to New York!"

"I suppose you'll be wanting to see Liberty and all that other touristy crap?" Roxie said with a grimace.

She did look apologetic. "Would you kill me?"

"Nah," I replied over-dramatically. "Some basic water torture, a few hours of flogging..."

"Oh, bite me, Chessler!"

* * *

It was almost six by the time we wandered past Central Park, laughing and burdened down with bags and packages from at least a dozen stores. I don't know about them, but MY feet were killing me slowly. Sabrina and Roxie seemed to be taking it in stride, though; I guess that's due to spending most of the day on either a plane or a train. So I begged and pleaded with them until they let me rest on a park bench.

"Whew!" I breathed as I plopped down; despite the permanent look of excitement, my chums still thudded as hard as I did. "Let me tell you, walking might be the primary mode of transportation here, but... even MY throbbing calves got a workout today!"

"I... guess we can hold this park bench in place for a few minutes," Sabrina panted.

"You girls just... just need to be in better shape," Roxie wheezed, bags dropping from her sore fingers. "Like... me!"

The chilly early-Spring air swirled around us as the sun's last few rays waved from the sky. It was SO nice to let it caress us for a while and bask in the glory of a extravagant but entirely necessary shopping spree. Which, by the way, I could barely afford; this was going to take a chunk out of my nest egg, that's for sure. Still, between school fees and squirreling money away for my own place, it had been an eternity since I blew a truly sizeable wad of cash on fun things like shoes and clothes, so the guilt was minimal.

Eventually, Sabrina stirred. "Okay... what now?"

"Well, I need to regain energy," Roxie said. "I don't care what we do after, but some form of food is next, capisce?"

"Capisce," Sabrina moaned as she tried to sit up. "That is, if we can make it there."

"Oh, we can make it," Roxie insisted. "Unless you think New York City needs one more chalk outline."

"How about not?" I said brightly, rubbing a calf through my jeans.

"How about... Italian?"

"Sabrina, no," I whined. "I  _work_ Italian!"

"Right, right... a deli?"

"Too much pork in the air," Roxie growled disdainfully. "I could do something French!"

"Except I just  _had_ French - Adymm surprised me this morning."

"Ooh," Sabrina chided, nudging Roxie. "The rocker boyfriend is still in the picture, eh? I'd kinda been wondering if-"

But she caught herself. Thank God, because I knew she was about to say something we'd both regret tumbling out - not to mention in front of Roxie. She didn't mean to do it, but at the same time she couldn't help it; for a split second, she looked terrified, curious, and remorseful all at once. Without having to hear it, without any communication other than eye contact, we both knew the question of my sexuality had been raised for what seemed like the umpteenth time since Christmas... and neither one of us wanted to handle the answers yet.

"I was hoping you guys could work through it," she finished with a nervous cough to cover the untimely pause. "Yay!"

"Me too," Roxie said with a warm smile, completely oblivious in her state of starvation. "It's nice to see something good survive on this planet."

Still a tad flustered, I cleared my throat before answering. "Yeah, yeah, it's a bonafide miracle - meanwhile, do we settle for lukewarm burgers and fries?"

A quick glance between us defeated that proposal.

"Okay, fine, then we'll jump completely outside the box." Standing (painfully), I handed down my royal decree: "Let's go eat sushi or something!"

_END Chapter Two_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering... yes, I love Milk-chan.


	3. What's Up, Tiger Libby?

"Sushi?" Sabrina asked skeptically. "Isn't that, like... raw fish?"

"Not necessarily," Roxie said. When Sabrina stared at her, she continued, "What are  _you_ gawking at? Morgan orders it all the time, and while I'd love to say I never tried it based on that alone... actually, it's not that bad."

"But..."

"Don't worry," I told Sabrina as I picked up my bags again. "They'll have other stuff, too. In fact, I know this little place just a subway hop down - it's not as good as Ichiban in Chicago, but even so... it's gonna blow your mind!"

* * *

"Well... my mind is certainly blown by  _this._ "

The three of us plunked down on stools, watching the multicoloured plates drift by on a conveyor belt. "Wild, huh?" I said, opening a pack of chopsticks. "This is probably about the coolest restaurant idea I've ever heard of."

"It's really... something," she said, staring intently at some unidentified thingy as it passed her. "What do you call it again?"

"Kaiten-zushi," Roxie sighed, picking up a plate of futomaki. "It literally means 'rotating sushi' - isn't that cute?"

She nodded distractedly. "And we just take whatever we want? How do they know what we've eaten?"

"The plates," I said, helping myself to gomokuzushi and a bottle of green tea. "See how they're different colours? That indicates price; the white ones - like my tea plate - are only a buck, but those black ones are six."

Her hand was drifting toward a black plate just as I said that, and she jerked it back like it bit her - Roxie and I almost died laughing.

"Leave me alone, you guys; I'm new to all this!"

Over the course of an hour, we slowly whittled away their stock of fish eggs and seaweed wraps, taking our sweet time to stack up a ridiculous number of plates that made the employer  _very_ happy, I'm sure. At least Sabrina had ordered enough Chinese take-out by now to be able to handle chopsticks, or she'd have been a permanent target for ridicule throughout the evening - as it was, she made a lot of funny faces, especially from the wasabe. Seriously, I could almost write another book about our night of sushi indulgence; it was an unqualified blast.

Finally, having had our fill, we settled up... and the damage wasn't good.

"God," Roxie breathed.

"Not God," I said. "Oh no, this was the work of somebody else, I'm sure of it."

"FORTY-SEVEN BUCKS?!" Sabrina shouted, running outside after us. "There's no way we ate  _that_ much rice!"

"It wasn't the rice," I groaned. "It was the toro, and the whale, and all those-"

"Wait,  _what?_ " Roxie actually dropped her bags and grabbed me by the lapels. "You're telling me, a card-carrying member of Greenpeace, that we ate  _whale meat?!_ "

" _She_ did!" I yelped desperately as I nodded at Sabrina, whose eyes flew open. "I only noticed after the second piece was halfway to her mouth, so I didn't say anything!"

"Is that even  _legal?!_ "

"Oh geez," the poor freak moaned as Roxie put me down; suddenly, she looked a little green around the gills. "I... I think the whale's swimming upstream!"

But as she was bending toward the gutter, her swivelling head rammed into a pedestrian's abdomen.

" _Oof!_ "

"Crap!" Sabrina shot upright. "Gosh, I'm sorry, ma'am, I totally didn't see you coming!"

"It's okay," she chuckled windlessly, brushing green forelocks out of her eyes and clutching her stomach. "Looks like you were kinda in the middle of someth- oh!"

"What, what is it?" Sabrina asked worriedly as the girl stared between us. "You're not gonna sue me, are you? I've heard people do a lot of that in New York, and I don't really have any money, so you're barking up the wrong-"

"Ophelia!" I giggled, walking over to her. "Of all the rotten luck!"

"Libby, Sabrina!" She grinned back at us as I squeezed her. "What the hell are  _you_ doing here?"

"Just leaving Oishi's Kaiten! What about you?"

"Peggy's Pagan Emporium," she said, nodding down the street. "I'm out of wormwood."

My nose wrinkled. "And you need something with 'worm' in the name because...?"

I saw her cheeks pinken. "Well... see, there've been a lot of break-ins around my neighbourhood lately, and I- I wanted to cast a protection spell. I know, I know, I'm a big pansy!" Her eyes wandered over to Roxie. "Who's the new face?"

"Roxie King," she introduced herself. "Nice to meet you... Ophelia, was it?"

"It was," she affirmed, shaking her hand. "And still is, I guess."

"Peggy's Pagan Emporium, huh?" Sabrina suddenly asked - and I couldn't help but notice an edge in her tone. "The alliteration's killing me."

"Yeah, I know," Ophelia said, trying to laugh it off. "But it's the only decent place in the West Village - maybe the whole Village period."

"Mmm, I'm sure... hey, wait - how did you know my name?"

All three of us blinked; what was with the near-blatant hostility? "What do you mean? Don't you... remember me?"

"Should I? 'Cause I d- wait..." Sabrina leaned in, squinting slightly in the dim streetlights. "Hey, I  _do_ know you! You used to be in Science Club with us, right?"

"Yeah!" She smiled in relief. "I mean, we were only both in the club at the same time for a few months, 'cause you stopped coming and all."

"That's right..." Now she looked put out; the poor thing had to eat blubber  _and_ be reminded of past mistakes all in one night. "Well, it's not like I  _meant_ to ditch you guys, but... I had a lot of irons in the fire Senior year, y'know? Man, now I feel like a deserter."

"Don't sweat it," Ophelia reassured her. "I mean, we missed you, but I get the priorities thing. Damn, it's nice to see you again!"

"Likewise," Sabrina said distractedly, still staring at Ophelia. "Wow, you've sure, uh... well, I mean, I guess that's why I didn't recognise you off the bat; you used to wear pleated slacks and have, y'know, a natural hair colour, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but then I decided the librarian look was out this season." She shrugged, leaning against a newspaper stand. "Eh, it suits me. You look good!"

"What, this?" she said bashfully. "I call it post-moderne 'what's clean?' Cosmo and Glamour are raving about it."

We all laughed gratefully, the ice having broken more cleanly now. Still...

* * *

"Okay, Sabrina, cough it up; what was that all about?"

She looked up at us innocently as we stepped onto the subway car heading back into Chelsea. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Ophelia," Roxie continued. Personally, I wasn't prepared to launch into this immediately afterward, but Roxie was the very image of headstrong. "Do you have some kinda beef with her?"

"No," she said without meeting our eyes. "She's nice enough."

I sighed. "Sabrina..."

"Fine, look - I've always kinda thought of those Wiccans as posers," she blurted, though she didn't seem entirely comfortable with her own words. "Acting so cool because they know 'spells'; it's nothing but an excuse to get together in somebody's basement and play Dungeons and Dragons, right?"

Roxie and I exchanged shocked glances.

"Hey, stop that!" Sabrina threw her hands in the air. "Okay, okay, I was needlessly rude to her, alright? And I know she's not like those emo kids, it's just... I dunno. I was a jerk and I'm sorry, okay?"

"You need to tell  _her,_ " Roxie said.

"I will. Seriously, the next time I see her - I promise!"

We let it drop after that - but I, for one, wasn't sure I believed her. For a second, I was almost sure Sabrina had a hate-on for Ophelia, and I couldn't begin to imagine why. Unfortunately, that wasn't the last time I would get that impression...

_END Chapter Three_


	4. Absinthing Up That Hill

_"There_ you are - we thought you'd got yourself bludgeoned and left for dead in an alley!"

"Sorry, Greg," I panted, throwing my coat in the corner. "Lost track of time!"

"Oh, that's right," TQ said, downing a shot of gin. "Your Bostonian pals are up for Spring Break, aren't they?"

"It's a poor excuse," Greg muttered.

"It is," I breathed as I stuffed myself into that smelly old leather jacket for what seemed like the millionth time. "And I'm not using it as an excuse; that's what happened is all."

"Well, no more 'happenings'," Adymm said as he walked in, handing me my gothy makeup kit. "It's all well and good if you miss a practice, but this is a paying gig, here! Jesus, we only have the one this week, so you'd think-"

"You're right...  _all_ of you. Let's just hurry up and get out there instead of giving me shit, okay?"

The Fearsome Westbridge Trio - as I will refer to us from now on, or at least that once - had spent the entire day touristing. Due to me taking the day off to be a Superfriend, Sabrina got to see both Ellis Island  _and_ Liberty in the morning, and we spent the afternoon lollygagging in Central Park, gossiping and reflecting. For her, it was all that touristy goodness; for me (and perhaps Roxie), it was one of those nice days where nothing particularly special is happening, but you find yourself simply feeling... content.  _So_ content, in fact, that you're in the middle of a fine dinner of street corner pizza and vending machine soda, watching a fight break out between two cabbies when you realise you're late for something very important.

Anxiously, I peeked under the curtain; Mothball Hero was just finishing up their set. How do I know? They always close with "Nice To Eat You"; somebody told them it was their "signature jam", and now the losers use it at the end of every freaking show. But I kid - they're a pretty decent act.

"Right," I breathed, turning back to find Adymm holding that can of purple hair spray. "Oh!"

"Hey, gorgeous," he said with a grin.

"Hey." Um, insert intimate moment I refuse to describe for you here. "How's everything back here, really?"

"Perfectly fine, don't worry. Though TQ's shaking like a chihuahua passing razorblades..."

"Why?"

He nodded toward the curtain. "His girl's out there."

"What?!" I glanced back at it, too, as if I could see her through the heavy cloth. "But Ophelia's never been to one of our shows before!"

"Bingo," he laughed. "I'm sure he'll be fine once he gets going, though; it's only pre-show jitters times two, he'll deal."

"Yeah, so I saw - God, it's gonna make  _me_ nervous, too, and I'm not her boyfriend." The bottle of gin made a lot more sense, now; I'd never known him to be a hard drinker. "Hopefully Milnot's in there making sure he doesn't get too wasted to play?"

"We've got it covered. Now, let's get you purplified!"

* * *

The details of the performance are unimportant - especially if you've been reading along with my entire memoirs, since by now I've recounted two or three of these things in detail. It's a good thing I don't have to describe any specifics, as that would mean something went horribly wrong. Thankfully, we played our best yet, and the only major difference is I dedicated a song to Sabrina and Roxie...

...who were right down front. That almost made me screw up royally - they were watching! I mean, obviously they've caught the act before, but last time Sabrina was running around serving coffee and Roxie was scribbling down notes for her column. This time, I had their undivided attention and it threw me off for a minute, but (thank God) it didn't take me long to right myself. Honestly, I had no clue they were gonna show!

Okay, so there was  _one_ other thing that happened. As we were preparing to start our fifth or sixth song and I was taking a swig of water, I heard a bunch of whispering behind me, but every time I turned around I didn't see anybody but the guys. Then, when I was starting to freak out, the band started playing my favourite Placebo song, "Without You I'm Nothing"... and out walked Sid Monarch of Mad Crow Disease, extra mic in hand, ready to sing David Bowie's part. Our duet was a total surpise to everyone - _including_ me. Mad Crow wasn't even scheduled to play that night! Not only did we pull it off flawlessly, but the crowd went absolutely freaking  _insane_ \- they couldn't get enough of it! Absinthia might be pretty wet behind the ears, but it'll be hard for us to ever top that historical moment. Greg had to have called in a  _huge_ favour.

As we finished playing our final number - which, just for Sabrina, was "Ava Adore" - I noticed some guy who didn't seem to belong hanging around the back. Was that the Cobra Pit's owner? I don't remember having seen him around, and he certainly wasn't dressed for the venue; blue blazer, gray turtleneck, beret. But I kept waving at the crowd, pretending I wasn't distracted at all as we left the stage.

"That was off the muthafuggin'  _chain!"_ Milnot shouted as we got into the hallway to the dressing room.

"You better believe it!" TQ said, high-fiving him. "We were so on fire I thought the sprinklers would go off!"

"I buggered my solo," Greg grumbled... but even he couldn't hide his grin successfuly.

"Solo schmolo," Adymm laughed, rubbing Greg's shaven pate (he hates that). "It was one missed note; do you see me brooding over my broken string?"

"Let's get out there and mingle with the fans," TQ said, slicking back his mousy hair. "I'm sure we sold at least a few CDs, too!"

He was right; the whopping five CDs we brought were gone when we made our way over to our quaint little merchandise table - as were our leftover stock of t-shirts and bumper stickers. Pretty soon we'd have to run off some more, which meant they were a success, right?

"You guys rocked the Casbah!" Sabrina shouted over the house music when she finally made it over to us. "Can I have your autograph?"

Greg just flipped her off.

"'Taking in Broadway', my ass," I growled at her and Roxie as I handed a CD back to some ecstatic geek-boy. "You guys are such liars!"

"Well, we thought it'd be a nice surprise," Sabrina said guiltily. "At least, better than the last one, which almost sent you into an epileptic fit!"

"This place sure has changed," Roxie breathed as she looked around. "Wasn't it a discotheque just a couple years ago?"

"There've been a few renovations," Adymm chuckled. "I think they smashed the mirror ball out back."

"Actually, I heard they sold it on eBay," Ophelia said as she appeared at his shoulder, looking extra gothy to suit the atmosphere; double the eyeliner, leather everything, and a choker with a pentagram (which I know she usually avoids wearing due to stereotyping). "Scored themselves capital for some new speakers!"

"Hey, Ophie!" I shouted, grinning - mostly because I was going to initiate the common pleasantry questions we'd established over the past month. "What's the word in Wiccaville?"

"Same old crystal-gazing," she shrugged, slipping her hand onto the crook of TQ's arm; he looked sideways at her, that ever-present manic expression of his softening. "What's goin' down in Rocketown?"

"We  _rocked_ Rocketown!" I hollered; several people around us cheered and laughed with us.

"You are  _so_ embarassing," Sabrina muttered, but she was laughing too.

"Damn straight," Greg said. "Still, all things considered, this night has just about peaked, and if you ask m-"

"Excuse me," a voice said behind me. When we all turned, it was to find that beblazered man, and he looked like he was pleased with himself over something. "You're the In Absinthians, I assume? I was wondering if I could have a word with you."

"If that word is 'money'," Milnot said cautiously, "you'd better be giving instead of taking."

"Oh, don't worry - I'm not some kind of a loan shark or anything. Here-" His hand flew into his pocket and came back with a business card. "Lenny Whittaker with Death Blossom Records. You guys have a minute?"

* * *

We had a minute. Oh, you know we  _definitely_ had a minute.

The backstory can be summed up like this: based on word-of-mouth in the Manhattan underground scene, they sent an A&R guy (Lenny) to check out our show. Evidently, we didn't suck enough to ruin our chances at a contract - a two-album contract, people! I felt like we were overlooking the world from the top of Everest... instead of our favourite late-night coffee house. Of course, Roxie kept trying to haggle, TQ kept saying stuff about "fringe benefits" and Sabrina took the papers to the bathroom for a minute to look them over (this was equally inscrutable to me, by the way), but the rep was amazingly patient with us. After a long discussion, the five of us signed on the dotted lines and became part of Death Blossom. Maybe it wasn't Bertelsmann, but it was a start.

And thus, In Absinthia sold out to corporate America. How's  _that_ for a topper?

_END Chapter Four_


	5. Don't Freak So Close To Me

"Ladies and... ladies," Ophelia announced, hand moving cryptically slow as it wriggled inside her duffel bag, "I present to you the pièce de résistance - fine imported dipping chocolate!"

The three of us "ooh"ed as we gathered around to look at the little stoneware crock - which, as it turns out, was not so little. "32 ounces of hip-widening goodness!" Sabrina moaned, salivating already. "Can you be my new best friend?!"

"What about us?!" Roxie and I yelled at the same time.

To catch you faithful readers up, approximately four hours have passed since my band signed that contract; the first hour was spent toasting Mr Whittaker and each other with frothy mochas, after which the label rep had to get home. The rest of us hung around for a while, talking and swapping pie-in-the-sky dreams until Milnot said he had a thing in the morning. We were just about to head our seperate ways when Sabrina and Roxie realised they had nothing else to do that night, and they didn't feel like going all the way back to their cheap hotel room on the Upper West Side... so I proposed the obvious.

"Thanks for inviting me along," Ophelia said nervously, snuggling back down into her sleeping bag. "It's almost like getting to relive high school the right way!"

"Don't tell me you were jealous of these two losers," Roxie mumbled around a gulletfull of popcorn. "Sabrina wakes up at like, two in the morning to clip her toenails. It's totally neurotic - and disgusting! This one time, she clipped one and it-"

"That's enough extollment outta you, dearest Roxanna!" Sabrina shouted, throwing a pillow at her. "You forget how humble I am!"

Roxie caught the pillow, but swallowed her mouthful hard. "How did you find out my full name? Did you bribe my mother?!"

"You  _do_ have a driver's license," Sabrina said wickedly, "and you can't be watching your purse  _every_ moment."

"Why you miserable, nosy-"

A knock at the door. Looking a little sheepish, I'm sure, I yelled, "Yeah, Dad?"

"I'm going to sleep now," he said through the door. "This is my not-so-subtle way of telling you girls-"

"Keep it down," I finished. "Got it."

"My pounding headache and I thank you!"

"Do you guys have a fondue pot?" Sabrina asked in a lower tone, gnawing at the brick of chocolate solidified inside the crock. "This isn't going anywhere like this."

"I think there's a hot plate or something in the kitchen," I said, standing up. "And, if I'm not wrong... strawberries in the fridge!"

Okay, girls - most of you have been here before, so there's no need explaining the rest of the night to you. For those of you guys who haven't experienced the joys of the slumber party (which could also include some anti-social girls), it's just like "crashing" at your friends' house, except our conversations tend to involve less football. Other than that, it's probably quite similar; in place of scratching our crotches and playing Gran Turismo for six hours straight, substitute trying out beautification processes we'd never dare attempt on any night of sanity and eating things we'd normally be mortified to be caught next to. See? Not  _too_ different!

For us, it wasn't too different from that night in Westbridge before Christmas - except substituting Ophelia for Morgan, which is a switch I personally am more than fine with, thank you very much. The other big difference was that we were celebrating instead of commiserating; everybody being happy turned the whole situation around, and it quickly turned into one of those warm, glowy memories in the making.

And everything was perfectly happy-go-lucky until a bit after two in the morning, when- well, see for yourself.

* * *

"Mind if I join you?"

"Knock yourself out," Sabrina said, leaning back against the wall again. Grunting, I crawled through the window onto the fire escape, bruising my knee in the process.

"Ow!"

"Careful!" she blurted needlessly, then smiled sheepishly. "But, well - yeah, that advice is belated."

"Yeah," I said, my cheeks flushing as I closed the window behind me and sat down. "So... you like our prestigious balcony?"

"Très magnifique." She drew her knees under her chin, glancing up at the steps leading to the floor above. "Rusty iron is in this season, so says 'Better Homes And Dungeons'."

We both lapsed into silence, staring up at what we could see of the stars and shivering in the night air. After almost a minute, Sabrina spoke up again. "We should go back in for a blanket or something."

"Yeah, we should." But we didn't. Another eternity passed before she spoke again.

"So... you're not gay, huh?"

"That-  _EXCUSE ME?!_ "

"I'm sorry!" she said earnestly, turning to me with the expression of a person who's been forced to sample bratwurst ice cream. "That- that came out a lot faster and ruder than I planned."

"God, you have a lot of nerve, Spellman!"

"Can I do it over?" she begged. "I promise I won't sound like some kind of redneck this time!"

"No!" I coughed, then took a deep breath. "What I mean is, no, you don't have to." I felt her eyes on me again, but I didn't meet them. "It's a fair enough question after... well, you know."

"Yeah." An awkward pause. "I... I've had a lot of time to think by now, and nothing feels like you would ever turn gay in a million years. Er, not that it's a bad thing, of course! It's just that you and Adymm seemed so tight before, and I can tell you still are."

I waited for a moment. "But?"

"But I keep coming back to... to-"

"Yeah. That."

"Why did it happen?" she said quietly, staring through the slats in the landing to the street several stories below. "You and your lips came outta nowhere and planted one on me. It was- it was like being shot, y'know?"

"Wow, thanks for the comparison."

I didn't even have to see her eyes rolling. "Come on, you know what I mean! Completely right field, nobody within ten yards when it dropped."

An eyebrow went up. "Sabrina, honey - sports metaphors?"

"Sorry... leftovers from Harvey." She took a moment to rub her nose. "That's the one thing I can't get, the thing that's the only reason there  _is_ a thing. You're not... bi, maybe?"

" _No!_ " Homophobic, maybe, but it was my gut reaction. "God, no!"

"Then... then why did you-"

 _SAVED!_  Well, that's probably not what the horrible noise sounded like to the rest of the neighbourhood, but it sure did to me.

"What was that?" I snapped, crawling over to the railing. "Did you hear that?"

"How could I not?!" As I spotted the source of the disturbance, her head popped up next to mine. "Is... is somebody being killed or something?"

"Relax," I breathed, leaning back. "It's just some stupid cat."

Yep! Saved by an alley cat. Saved from having to further that incredibly uncomfortable conversation by a hungry feline rooting through trash cans. They say God works in mysterious ways...

"Oh, good," she sighed. "That got my heart pounding!"

"Mine too," I giggled, turning to look at her. Her golden tresses were fluttering in the slight breeze, and the pupils within her stunning blue eyes were dilated with excitement. Her chest was heaving; I could see it rising and falling under her Rugrats pyjamas (which we had given her plenty of grief over already, don't worry), trying to stabilise her system after it had such a shock. Her shaky smile bunched up her flushed cheeks.

"Libby, are you okay?"

"Uh, sure!" I coughed into my fist to give me a moment to regroup. "Just... I'm really glad you're here."

Her smile only got wider. "Me too."

There quickly came a point where I couldn't keep looking at her any longer, and I turned away. "We should get back inside, it's too cold out here."

"Definitely! Hey, maybe there's some late-night flick on TV?"

But as she crawled back through the window, all I could do was stare at her. I didn't care what was on TV, and I didn't even want to go back inside; I wanted to stay out on that balcony all night and figure out why I was staring at her that way. What was it about Sabrina? Why did it seem like she was always doing strange things to me, changing my way of thinking? Why was something always  _wrong?_

God may have sent a cat to save me from an awkward conversation... but I don't think the salvation is going to last.

_END Chapter Five_


	6. Cheer Goggles

"Is anybody here?"

The echo always gets me. Why couldn't Adymm's parents have a  _normal_ house? Y'know, one that didn't have a three-acre foyeur that made you feel about as important as a raisin you find between the sofa cushions? But onward I trudged, determined to find him and study hard.

"Sorry I'm a little late," I called out, listening to my own words come back to me. "Mr. Scapelli wanted me to clean out the grease trap before I left, and by the time I scrubbed that out of my pores and changed into-  _Hello? Is anyone there?!_ "

Was that noise coming from the ballroom? Yeah, I know,  _ballroom_ \- when I said they were loaded, I meant it. Adymm probably wasn't in there, but maybe his parents or the butler were. I walked over and grabbed one of the door handles with my free hand.

"How about in h-"

_"SURPRISE!!"_

My purse, apron, and backpack full of textbooks slid from my arms and spilled all over the entrance as at least two dozen people swooped down on me, laughing and clapping me on the back. Bewildered, I glanced from face to grinning face, trying to figure out why these wackos were about two months late for my birthday.

"Wh- what the- what is-"

"Welcome to the 'In Absinthia Are Sell-Outs' party!" Adymm yelled over the din. "Isn't this friggin' amazing?!"

"That's... that's hardly the word for it!"

"C'mon, Libbs, loosen up!" Roxie said - directly into my ear. "Care for some champagne?"

"Some  _what?"_ Now I  _knew_ this couldn't be real. "Hey, I'm only nineteen, I can't-"

"Let's waive that rule for today, luv," Greg chortled, glass eye winking at me. "If one can't celebrate properly  _now,_  then when?"

"It's okay," Adymm continued. "My parents are chaperoning, and we have their blessing as long as nobody drives anywhere. I mean, how cool is that?"

Before I knew it, a champagne flute was in my hand.

"Well, when in Rome..."

* * *

The festivities celebrating our band's success lasted from when I got there until about ten o'clock, all under the watchful eye of Mr and Mrs Koriander and Jeeves - I mean, St John. His occupation kind of lends itself to the name Jeeves, though, y'know?

Don't you go thinking I didn't learn anything from my experience with the wonky water in Westbridge High's gymnasium - and don't lie now and say you weren't thinking it, because I  _know_ you! Despite the fact that everybody thought I was getting increasingly drunk throughout the night, I spent the entire evening nursing that first glass of bubbly. Trust me, nobody was the wiser... mostly because they were all too drunk to notice people being sober.

Adymm's sister, Ava, was a big hit with the other guys, because she's wild and unpredictable like that - or at least, she'd got that way in the past half a year. Her parents kept a pretty good eye on her, shooing her away from the alcohol and making sure she didn't drag any boys off to her bedroom, but they failed to catch her glomming a few mouthfuls from other people's drinks every now and again - which I could've told them would happen. Jesus, you don't let a sixteen-year-old hang around booze!

Of course, a few of my friends also resisted the temptation to imbibe devil juice - like Ophelia, who stuck to some story about observing a Wiccan holiday of purity (which she confided to me was totally a lie, but that her Goddess would understand). Of course, she was also avoiding the rest of us, and though normally I'd say I couldn't imagine why...

Sabrina was certifiably tipsy. Both her and Roxie started off sipping away at their champagne just to be hospitable, but eventually they decided they liked the stuff and sought out as much as they could unearth. They were rowdy, but they fit right in with the rest of the band and all their friends.

Adymm, however, wasn't drinking... much. He had just enough so he wouldn't look like a "wuss" or whatever, but I was proud of him for resisting playing quarters and all that idiocy. In fact, we had a nice moment over by the snack bar - or hors d'oeuvres bar, I guess. Too bad it was the last pleasant conversation I'd have that night...

* * *

"Hmm."

"What's wrong? Trying to decide between pigs-in-a-blanket or the..." Adymm leaned in, squinting. "What  _is_ that?"

"Exactly," I muttered. "That's what I was trying to figure out."

He walked around the table, as if this new vantage point would help. "It's like... sausages. Sausages in a- a bread bucket?"

"Toad in the hole."

Our heads jerked up to see Greg leaning against the table. "What?" Adymm asked. "Are you trying to insult my girlfriend, here?"

"'s toad in the 'ole," he repeated. "Me mam taught me 'ow t' make it ages back." Evidently, he became ten times as English when drunk. "'s the on'y thing I can make worth a fig, so I broughts it. Try some, yeah?"

"Uh, Greg," I said quietly, "maybe you've had enough. You still like the  _other_ eye... right?"

He blinked at me for a moment, then said, "S'pose you're right.  _Smack on the conk!"_ he yelled across the room. "I'll be... passin' out in the corner, then. Cheers!" And off he staggered.

"Gee, that was... something."

I glanced back at him. "Something? It was sad."

"You, uh, want to be the one to brave Greg's dish, or am I going to have to bite the bullet?"

"Oh, I completely leave this up to you. God, I wish I were elsewhere."

He smiled, leaning against the wall and stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I know what you mean. This may be a great party - who knows? I'm not having any fun at it, though."

I could feel my eyebrows knit. "You're not?"

"Not so much; it's too wild, too pointless. It'd be better if it was just the band, sitting around with a buncha chips and stuff and watching some lame college-guys-go-on-a-roadtrip movie."

"That does sound better." But my sigh was resigned. Who were we kidding? This party was for us and we were stuck. "At least I'm here with you."

And as his arm snaked around my shoulders, I felt warm, complete. The horribly greasy workday, the awful sight of my friends and bandmates acting like idiots... it was a mildly-interesting six-o'clock news story. As long as I had him holding me like that, it felt like things would turn out right in the end - like in a retro sitcom, or a bargain-bin paperback. His arms were strong, and his heart was big, and... yeah. I can't explain any more than that, so if you can't feel what I was feeling, then you're just going to have to trust that it was bliss.

Or it was bliss for about five minutes, until somebody wandered over to pester the hell out of me. Also, they started as low as they could start.

_"Eek!!"_

"Ha ha, made you jump!" Sabrina cackled as I rubbed the sore spot on my backside. "One teensy pinch and our 'Cheerless leader' goes kablooey!"

"What are you, Boris Badenov?" I growled. "Grow up, freakcake... or  _sober_ up is more like it, I guess. How much have you had?"

"Five!"

"Five... what?"

"I dunno!" she giggled, falling all over me. Adymm helped me pick her up again as she babbled on. "One minute, there were all these drunk people, and then they stopped being drunk, and now the party is more funner!"

"'More funner', huh?" Though he was still staring at Sabrina's unfocused eyes, Adymm's words were directed at me. "I'll see if I can get St John to brew up some black coffee."

Lord, do I wish he wouldn't have left me. Things probably wouldn't have gone down the way they did if I'd had company. Meanwhile, I was stuck guiding a sloshed blonde over toward a nearby chair.

"I can walk all by myself," she grumbled, jerking away from me... only to fall over into a plant. "My bad! Just... just a stumble, I'm good."

"Yeah, I'm so sure. C'mon, sit down."

"Don't wanna sit! I wanna dance! C'mon," she said, grabbing my arm, "let's cut a rug, sugar!"

"Wh- what are you doing?!"

"Dancing," she said, hands suddenly on my hips. "We have to dance! It's a party, and at parties we shake our groove thang or else we're not allowed to be there, right?"

"I- I don't want to," I whispered, feeling eyes on me everywhere. Realistically, everyone was probably too wrapped up in their own fun to pay any attention to us, but obviously I was feeling kind of paranoid with her hands on my waist; I could feel her thumbs digging into the flesh above where my jeans stopped.

"Come on, Cheerless!" she laughed. "After the rave, you shouldn't have any problem just  _dancing_ with me! I mean, we've gone further than that, right?"

We both froze, staring at each other. Slowly, visibly, sobriety seeped into her features, and a look of alarm and confusion replaced the careless glee that was running rampant before. Even so, her hands didn't move.

"What am... what am I doing, Libby? What are you doing to me?!"

"What  _I'm-_ "

But before I could finish, she threw me sideways and began stumbling toward the exit, muttering, "Gotta go." Luckily, Milnot was standing near enough that he could catch me before I went down face-first.

"Careful, now!" he laughed. "Wouldn't want our centrepiece getting all bruised up before the promo shots are taken, would we?"

"Thanks, Mil," I panted, straightening my hair. "Now, tell Adymm when he gets back that I've stepped out for a moment."

His head cocked to one side. "Where?"

"I have a freakburger to trounce."

_END Chapter Six_


	7. Sabrina's Heart Is Melting In The Dark

Rain. Wet, frigid rain. Why not? It was just icing... the sweet, green icing on the cake of my miserable life.

Squinting, I held my hand over my brow, scanning the sidewalk for any sign of activity. Luckily, nobody was out that night and it didn't take me long to find her, shivering on the corner with her thumb out as scattered cars raced by.

"What are you doing?!" I shouted when I was still several feet away. "It's a freaking deluge out here!"

"So what?" she shouted, trying to get away from me swiftly - but her high-heels failed her in that endeavour. "I didn't feel welcome at the party anymore."

Almost growling, I grabbed her by the arm to keep her from making either of us walk further down the dark, wet street. "Do you want to join Beta Phi Hypothermia? 'Cause we're not accepting new pledges right now!"

"Oh, put a sock in it! Besides, I'd probably catch pneumonia before hypothermia!"

I gaped at her openly. "What in God's name has gotten  _into_ you? I mean, if this is what you're like drunk, then I think you'd better skip AA and go straight to detox!"

"So I had a few too many," she quietly admitted before yelling defensively, "So what?! It's not like you didn't do the same thing at Christmas!" While I was still sputtering at that unfair jab, she growled, "And isn't this supposed to be the city where you can get a cab at a moment's notice?  _Geez!_ "

"What happened at Christmas wasn't my fault and you  _know_ it! In my book, water is typically water, not-"

"Excuses, excuses," she sulked, jerking away from me and folding her arms - maybe to hold in some body heat. The insubstantial jacket draped over her white, flouncy cocktail dress probably wasn't helping a hell of a lot, and it was plain to see the girl was completely soaked already. "I'm not going back to the party."

"Then neither am I. We're going to have this out, right here in the street if we have to. Now, tell me what your damn problem is!"

" _You!_ " she shouted. "You're always doing this to me - redefining our relationship!"

"Redefin-"

"The rave! Do you have any idea how much that changed everything? There were nights I couldn't even sleep, days I had to find a bathroom someplace where I could sort through all the hundreds of thoughts careening through my cluttered brain!" The fact that she was saying all this started to get to her, and as she began freaking out she began pacing, too. "And it's not just that, either; before that, with all the phone calls, and you deciding to be my bosom buddy out of nowhere, and-"

"Hang on a second, there, Spellman!" This was starting to piss me off; how could she be so hypocritical? Well, she wasn't going to get away with it. "What about  _you? I_ wasn't the one who kept pushing to figure  _you_ out in those weeks before prom; you drove me up the wall trying to define our friendship!"

"As I recall, I got physical abuse for my trouble!" she put in. I flinched, still guilty for ever having done that, but I didn't let it slow me down.

"Nor was I the one whose aunt booked  _you_ at her coffee house!" Then, I steeled myself for something I'd been wanting to say for a long,  _long_ time. "And as for the rave? Yeah, I was never that fired up about the idea! That was all you and your roomies, so it's not  _my_ fault I got a facefull of the date-rape drug instead of a refreshing swig of Perrier - I didn't even want to  _be_ there!"

"But you're still doing it to me! You're still changing the rules, making things difficult for me! Can't you leave well enough alone?!"

" _You're_ the one who came to  _me! You're_ the one who showed up for a look and a laugh at the fallen cheerleader - well, I'm really sorry my life isn't a complete disaster, but at least I'm not the prettiest and most popular anymore! Here in the city, I'm nothing but another disillusioned girl with crushed dreams, clinging to new ones because they're all she's got! Does that count for something in your demented bible of karmatic justice?!"

It did actually take me by surprise when she caught her breath; a soreness in my throat made me realise my voice had risen. Meanwhile, she was stunned, and seemingly hurt. "But- that's- Libby, that's not how it is! C-come on, you know I wouldn't want that, that I wouldn't do that... don't you?"

"What am I supposed to think? You show up out of nowhere, dragging Roxie back to her old stomping grounds and upsetting my delicate balance once again! Why the hell  _are_ you here, Sabrina?!"

Her eyes darkened. "You don't deserve to know that anymore. Not after this."

"After  _what?!_  After I finally get tired of these mind games and ask for the truth?"

"The truth, huh?! Fine, then tell  _me_ the truth for once - you have to give to get, you know!"

"Fine! Ask away, freak!"

The word made her turn away, almost as if physically wounded by it - why did I say that? I hadn't meant to, but she got me so worked up that I flashed back to Cro-magnon Libby. When she looked at me again, her eyes were pleading; pleading for logic, or excuses, or even wild-yet-believable propoganda. "Why, Libby? Why did you kiss me?"

Rivulets ran down our heads, dripping onto our shoulders and running down, down, down into the sewer grating a few feet away. For at least a full minute I stared at it, thinking hard - and I mean racking my brains for real, even though I'd already thought about it a googolplex. Her mentioning it, actually saying it out loud, made it feel like it were happening all over again; I could almost hear Oakenfold, and the few speeding headlights on the streets reminded me of glowsticks twirling in the semi-darkness. Alas, I came back to the same conclusion I stubbed my toe on every single time:

"I- I don't know." I looked up at her, stricken and hopeless. "Truthfully... I don't know."

Her face fell slightly, disappointed. "So... so that's it? It was one of those college things that just 'happen', something you experiment with the one time when you're too young to know better?"

It broke my heart that she thought I thought so little of her. "Sabrina..."

"And how am I supposed to feel about this? Because honestly, I don't know which I prefer: knowing it didn't mean anything at all to you, or thinking it maybe did."

That sounded a lot less hetero that she probably meant for it to. "Sabrina, wh-what are you saying?!"

"Libby... God, you really messed with my head, you know that?" She took a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was starting to cry, but she never cries; it must have been the rain, right? Seriously, other than when I was having a breakdown and she leaked a drop or two out of sympathy, I'd never seen her shed one tear in my life over anything.  _Anything,_  do you hear me? That was far more distressing than her words. "Why me? Why did you have to complicate things like that? Do you know what it's like to feel as if you're turning girls to the other side? I- I felt so isolated from everything, like I was completely and totally alone, and... I was scared out of my mind!"

"So was I," I whispered, starting to shiver from the combined cold and heartache.

"You had Adymm," she pointed out, her eyes now flowing freely - even taking the rain into consideration, there was no mistaking that catch in her voice now, and it broke me apart. "I- I have nobody! Not Harvey, not Josh, and not that jerkwad Kevin now that he dumped me. How could I tell my roommates? Great as they are, they wouldn't understand, they wouldn't get it! Nobody was there to keep me from drowning in this!"

Normally, I would've asked about Kevin right away - or, more importantly, the fact that she listed Josh in there as if he were a former (potential?) boyfriend. But something else felt slightly more pressing at that moment.

"Stop it."

"Stop what? Does my wallowing inconvenience the great Libby Chessler?"

"You have to stop crying!"

"Why?" She futilely tried to wipe her cheeks free of tears, even though there was no distinguishing them from the rest of the water. "It's my God-given right! How can you  _not_ cry? This has all gotten so out of hand, we went wrong somewhere, we-"

"You  _can't_ cry!" I half-yelled.

"What are you  _talking_ about?!" she yelled back.

"You  _can't_ cry because you  _don't_ cry! You're the strong one, the one who's supposed to help  _me_ when  _I'm_ crying!" I was rambling, but I couldn't stop myself; the lack of a good hat to keep my head dry and warm had frozen my mind open, and if I couldn't close off the valve everything would keep pouring out like rainwater down the gutter. "Th-this whole stupid ordeal is so weird, and- and so hard, but I thought you c-could help me get through it! How is anything supposed to feel safe again if I can't depend on you being strong enough for both of us?!"

"What- strong enough for both of us?" she blubbered. "You d-don't need my strength, you have Adymm for that!"

"But I don't! Adymm can't know about this, he can  _never_ know!"

"But he  _has_ to!" She beat her fists into her temples. " _Dammit,_  why can't anything be simple anymore?! It wasn't supposed to be this way, it- it was just supposed to get better, and instead I'm bawling like a baby in the middle of a thundershower, wishing I were dead!"

" _No!_ " Hearing my voice echo off surrounding buildings, I noticed we might attract an audience if I kept the decibels up, but my popsicle brain couldn't care about that right then; a startling notion had been jammed down my throat, and it had to be addressed immediately. "Sabrina, please, don't leave me now - you  _can't!_  Don't you see I need you t-to stay?!"

Her eyes flitted up to mine, tears hanging in the corners despite the rain. "W... b-but why? I'm not that important, I'm just some blonde you used to know! What on earth would you need  _me_ around for?!"

"Because you're my best friend, and I-"

For a moment, I had to fight down an urge. It was a pretty powerful urge, one I wasn't expecting and  _certainly_ didn't want - but my will is strong, and my fear even stronger than that. On that subject... oh yes, I was most definitely terrified.

Understandably, she couldn't bear my silence; she took one tentative step toward me. "You what?" Her eyes had finally softened, and with all the fire gone she looked so bleak and vulnerable. "Libby, don't jerk me around anymore - I'm begging you!"

Unbidden, words sprung to my lips, and there was only so much damage control I could do to them because my own ducts had erupted at last, and the steering wheel was ripped from my grasp by raw emotion. "Dammit, I missed you! I've been missing you every single day since you flew off to Hawaii and everything went to shit! You can't fly away, not again!"

"I..." Whatever words she wanted to give me, they weren't coming; her lip just hovered between open and closed, willing me to spare her the effort.

"Don't you see? You can't go back to Westbridge because... because I need you in my life, you little freak!"

Wild horses couldn't have stopped me from throwing my arms around her. This, however, was unlike any hug I'd ever felt; it was so urgent, so  _needy._  I could feel her fingertips digging into my arms and back, making immediate bruises, and the rigidity of her skull under one of my own hands as it wound into her sopping golden mane. Warmth flowed between us, glowing brighter than a million suns and making everywhere we weren't touching seem cold and unforgiving. It felt good -  _too_ good to be allowed, but my mind refused to be penetrated by that yet. This was no tender embrace; it was a desperate cling.

"How did we get here?" she sobbed, burying her face in my shoulder. "How did we go from enemies, to friends, to- to whatever this is? God, I'm so confused, I'm always so confused when it comes to you..."

Even then, she probably had no idea how mutual the feeling was.

_END Chapter Seven_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How're you liking Cheerless V thus far? Hope it meets expectations; it's been "done" for a long time, I just had to run it through a final edit, and I've been distracted by my Batman fiction of late. Didn't intend to keep anyone waiting, but now I've set aside some time and brewed a cup of oolong and I'm getting it out into cyberspace. Yay!
> 
> Also, this chapter title? One of my better references.


	8. Libby Is Listening

Yes, that was my gratuitous "rendezvous in the storm" scene that most dramatic stories have. They're not as much fun as they look.

What else happened that night? I seem to remember huddling with Sabrina on the subway, and I know I gave her some dry clothes to change into... and all I remember after that is waking up the next morning and wondering why she was in my bed again.

"S-Sabrina?"

"Mmmhh..." She rolled over, eyes blinking through a tangled mop of yellow. I felt a tinge of annoyance at my heart for beating faster - must it continue to tease me? "Whazhnggh?"

"I- do you remember last night?"

"Nnhgh." She rubbed her face. "Last night? What are... oh.  _AAAH!_ "

Right about there would be the point where she noticed one of my shins was caught between her knees; she quickly shoved herself away from me, but unfortunately...

" _OW!_  That was my  _boob,_  you dingbat!"

"Sorry!" she yelled, rubbing her fingers together as if she'd leaned on a dusty shelf. "Did- did I hurt you?"

"Only severely," I moaned, trying to massage the pain away. "If you wanna feel me up, try to be slightly more gentile."

"If I  _want_ to-" Her eyes narrowed as her cheeks reddened. "That's not funny. That's not funny at  _all_ right now, do you understand that?"

"Sorry," I whispered. "I... I was just trying to lighten the mood."

"Well, the road to Hell..." She sighed, shaking her head. "No,  _I'm_ sorry. I'm being all keyed-up, and- and my head's starting to hurt. I think I need air. Do you mind if I step out for a minute?"

The way she was acting worried me. "Hey, you're not gonna... step off the balcony or anything, are you?"

"What?" To my relief, she laughed, genuinely amused. "Oh, chill out, Chessler!" When I didn't relax much, she patted my hand. "You don't have to babysit me, I mean it. I'll be fine."

But instead of going out the window or the door, she slowly sat up on the bed and stood, deep in thought. Finally, I said, "You need directions?"

"No," she muttered distractedly. "Can I use your phone? I, uh, need to make a call, but it's kind of..."

"Confidential?" I half-smiled. "Use the one in the kitchen. I mean, unless Dad's home, but I think he had a thing in SoHo this morning."

"Thanks," she muttered, pelting out the door.

* * *

Now, what's about to happen doesn't demonstrate some extremely good moral judgment on my part, but I hope everybody can forgive me - especially because this would turn out to be really important.

It was maybe five minutes and one quick pee later that I decided to check on her; what kind of phone call was this, anyway? If she was actually still on the phone at all, it must be something urgent. I figured I'd just slip into the kitchen and raise my eyebrows at her, and she'd just cover the mouthpiece and say, "I'm almost done," and then I'd know. A simple plan, one I  _swear_ started out being honourable.

Except the first thing I heard from the hallway was, "It's getting harder and harder to keep Libby from finding out."

Let me ask you this: if you were me, wouldn't  _your_ interest be piqued instantly? Silently, I tiptoed through the dining room to the outside of the kitchen door, straining to hear. And just in case you missed it, this would be the morally reprehensible behaviour previously alluded to.

"But I do!" She waited for a moment. "Argh, it's so frustrating! And yes, I know you know that." A pause. "Yeah, yeah, forever." Another pause. "Will you stop it? That's not the point, here; the point is, the stress is getting to me. Last night, I couldn't even point my way back to the hotel, and Libby and I got into a- well, it wasn't really a fight, I guess, but it was. Y'know?" Pause. "Don't get me started down  _that_ road again." Pause. "Look, you said it yourself; I'm still working through Kevin, and I'm at a bad place right now. But in the meantime... what about my finger-related problems?" Pause. "How do I? I mean, being so close to the cause." Moment of quietude. "No, I can't; she said I can't leave." Pause. "What? Of course she's not holding me hostage! Holy crap, you guys can be so weird!"

It was her aunts. Oddly enough, I should have known who she was talking to all along, but I couldn't be sure until that moment. Meanwhile, the latter end of that conversation sounded an awful lot like Sabrina "pets the pretty kitty" quite often, but the imagery (and the fact that it may or may not have something to do with me) was too disquieting to think on it very long, so I concentrated on the rest of her words.

"She says... she says she needs me here." The tenderness in her voice really touched me; she wasn't just staying out of obligation, but because she wanted to. "I  _do_ want to!" Yep, there ya go! "Yeah. No. Well, I don't know, geez - why don't you ask me why hotdogs come in packs of ten but buns only come in packs of eight? I don't have  _all_ the answers!" Desperately, I fought down a snicker. "But- really?" Pause. "Give it some time? That's certainly a passive remedy." Pause. "But what if I need it? What if something big happens and I need-" They cut her off, I presume? "Okay, fine. But if I get run over and die, I'll be really mad at you guys!" One last pause. "Yeah, love you, too. Bye!"

Right about then was when I decided to creep as fast as I could back to my room and pretend I was trying to decide what clothes to change into.

Eavesdropping. Snooping. Acting like a gossip, like a busybody, like... like Cro-magnon Libby again. Why couldn't I be better than myself? As hard as I had been trying to embrace the new Libby, the old one hung around and haunted me, messing me up and throwing me off. Why couldn't I have sternly told myself, "This is not for your ears" and gone back to my room?

All that and her phone call itself were still jumbling around in my head when the door creaked open. "Back," she said.

"Hey," I said from the closet door. "What do you think for work today?"

"Oh, uh... I like those blue slacks, they're kinda nifty."

"'Nifty', huh? I guess I can have a nifty day."

She snorted. "If you didn't want my fashion advice, you shouldn't have asked."

"Sorry." I smiled weakly. "Hey, I wonder what happened at the party after we left?"

"More drinking?" she volunteered. "And possibly Roxie sleeping with one of your band members." She caught the look on my face. "Uh, one of the  _other_ band members - especially the ones that don't have current significant others!"

"Better."

* * *

Adymm gave me the low-down on the party over the phone as I applied makeup and futzed with my hair - the cordless has a speakerphone function, which I've found to be excruciatingly helpful. As the legend goes, Milnot slam danced with one of the maids  _and_ Mrs Koriander, TQ and Ophelia got caught doing some heavy petting in a broom closet, and Greg pretty much just passed out and stayed that way. Adymm spent most of the night calling around, trying to figure out what happened to us, until he finally talked to me once we got back to the Chessler flat (which I don't even remember happening, but I trust him).

During this time, Sabrina was also preening to a lesser degree, but mostly paging through an old issue of Glamour and listening to Adymm retell the evening's events... until I shooed her out so we could whisper a few sweet nothings. Then, she offered to walk me to work, since she had nothing better to do before going back to Adymm's house to nurse a hungover Roxie back to the hotel where she could continue sleeping it off. I was glad for the company - especially because something from last night had crept back into my mind, something Sabrina had deliberately guarded from me.

* * *

"Yeah, I'm getting tired of ramen noodles, too."

"And even pizza," she continued. "It's like, how could I ever have liked this crap?!"

"I can still eat pizza," I mused, swinging my purse by its strap. "With ham, and pineapple, and maybe some black olives..."

"Ugh! And you called  _me_ the freak!"

We both laughed, but mine died first because I had something on my mind. I wanted to get it out of the way; I didn't want this to be another thing that built up into a big deal. "Hey... can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Why you're here." We stopped, and I avoided her eyes. "I'm so glad you are, you have no idea, but... but last night you said-"

"I know." She sighed, leaning against the building next to us. "That was pretty harsh, wasn't it? I apologise."

"No, no apologies - not for last night." I made a face. "We both said hundreds of horrible things in that no-holds-barred verbal showdown, and if we try to keep apologising for it all we'll never say anything else."

"Point to Team Libby," she snorted. "But... no, I don't think now's the time."

I blinked. "What?"

"Oh, don't worry," she continued hastily, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm not going to keep it from you, I promise! You're gonna be late for work, though, so I'll tell you after."

"It's... it's nothing bad, is it?"

"Not at all." That and her smile instantly put me at ease; I wanted to stand there and bask in it for hours, soaking up all the sunshine she emitted. But then she was standing up straight and walking again. "So don't worry so much, you big goon!"

She forced a laugh out of me when I wanted to wring her neck. How does she  _do_ that?!

_END Chapter Eight_


	9. Freak It Over

"Watch it, Chessler; those people ordered that a la mode, not a la floor!"

"Sorry!" Swallowing hard, I stepped around Kurt and made for the corner booth, expertly holding my tray over the heads of a few patrons. Finally, the dessert made it to its destination and I could relax my attention again... which meant heavy thinking. All morning, I had been pondering everything that had happened in the last few days; seeing Sabrina drunk, our band getting signed, Sabrina acting like she disliked Ophelia, screaming in the rain, the feelings I didn't understand that kept trying to assert their presence, waking up next to her yet again...

And what she could possibly be hiding from me. After all, she'd said on the phone that she was hiding something from me, and that's what it had to be; there was some darker purpose for her coming to New York. She told me it wasn't anything bad, but it couldn't necessarily be good if she was going to such great lengths to keep it secret, right? So what  _was_ it?

As the lunch rush began, I kept coming back to two possibilities, one of which was pleasant and grand, the other of which was absolutely frightening. She could be transfering from Adams to NYU or some other college in the city, which I would love! God, as much as she threw a monkey wrench into the workings of my pitiful existence, she also gave it more meaning than it did otherwise; having her around all the time would be beyond cool.

But what if that wasn't it? What if there was a crush in play? I kept trying not to think about it, because it was so odd and uncomfortable, but I couldn't help it. What if it was true? Could that one kiss have turned her to the other side? Was Sabrina J Spellman...

See, I'm having a hard time even putting it down on paper, but you get my drift by now, I'm sure. That idea rankled, making me feel dirty and strange. The lunch rush helped me put it out of my head, but not much, and it kept coming back stronger and stronger. I just hoped I was wrong, because I don't think I could take it.

Especially if I those feelings I didn't understand were real. But they couldn't be, I refused to believe it. I was just letting my imagination blow things out of proportion.

At one o'clock I had a break, which I took in the tiny room in back so I wouldn't have to hang around the customers. It was smoky and dingy, but I was somewhat used to that by now. Unfortunately, a crazy thing happened in there, and even though it helped me out personally...  _yeesh._

* * *

"You don't mind if I light up, do you?"

Sighing, I rolled my eyes and picked my feet up off the other chair. "Do what you want; my lungs are just there for decoration, anyway."

"Thanks!" Arianna Scapelli could be so dense. You and I both know my sarcastic comment made it very obvious I didn't want her to do it, and yet she thought I was serious. What a total yo-yo; no wonder she could only get a job from her uncle. Meanwhile, the yo-yo plunked down and puffed away on her Marlboro Light as if it was going to make this day any less dreary.

"Sure you don't want to smoke that faster?"

"I wish," she grumbled. "God, this job wasn't supposed to be this hard... but whatever, right?"

"Right." I blinked. "What's that in your mouth?"

"Huh? Oh." She stuck her tongue out at me, and I saw a ball bearing in the center of it. "Like it?"

"Oh, it's divine. When'd you get that?"

"Last weekend. Me and a couple friends all had it done; they say it's supposed to make kissing better, among- well, among other things." The particular brand of wicked gleam in her eye betrayed the fact that she didn't know what she was talking about in the slightest, and I aimed to tell her so.

"You're not supposed to smoke after you get one of those, you dumbass."

"What, really?" She frowned, looking down at her cigarette. "Oh. Well, I guess I'll quit after this one, but I really need it today. Did you see the mob out there?"

"The Mob was here? Again?"

"No, not 'The Mob', just- oh, nevermind." Messing with her is sometimes my only midday entertainment. "Anyway, you're sure I can't smoke?"

"I'm very sure; my boyfriend's sister has one, and she told us all about the dozens of things she had to deal with while healing. You don't wanna catch tongue cancer, do you?"

"But... but I just wanted to make kissing better!" She pouted, putting out the cigarette and propping her feet up on the table. "My life is  _so_ unfair."

"You haven't tested it out yet, though?"

"No," she sighed. "We got it done Saturday night, and I didn't get to go out because of stupid curfew; my parents have really been on me about that lately. But this weekend I should find out, I hope; Daddy's going on some lame fishing trip, and Mom's a big pushover! The problem is, it's not just running into a passable hottie, but they gotta know what you want, y'know? It's like..."

Now, here I stopped listening and came to a juncture at which I hesitated briefly. If I moved quickly and struck without pause, I could kill two birds with one stone: satisfy my personal curiosity by way of litmus test, and give that vapid little priss such a wig she wouldn't sleep for a week (which was reward enough, actually). Mostly decided, I tuned back into what she was babbling on about.

"...'cause it's an intimate thing. Still, I more or less wanna know if it feels any different with the barbell in or not, and I don't even care  _who_ I make out with for that! It could be-  _MMGH!"_

There was another added bonus: she couldn't keep talking with my tongue in her mouth.

My kiss with the boss's niece lasted about four or five seconds; Arianna's arms flailed like tentacles while my hands remained firmly on her cheeks, making sure I wasn't doing this for nothing. God, she tasted like a mixture of spearmint gum and tobacco! It was repulsive!

 _"WHAT THE FUCK?!"_ she shouted, shoving me away from her and into a locker full of employee aprons, rubbing her mouth and panting like a dog in Summer. "Are you out of your  _mind?!"_

"You mean that didn't rock your world?" I asked seductively, licking my lips (eww,  _more_ tobacco flavour!) and standing slowly.

"Libby, you are such a  _freak!_  What if-" Her eyes went wide under her red bangs. "Omigod, what if my uncle walked in? He'd tell  _MOM!_ "

"Relax, you spaz," I laughed. "Now you know what your new hole feels like. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Not from you - not from  _any_ girl!" She folded her arms. "I had no idea you were some big  _lez!"_

"Hey, I just wanted you to shut up about your stupid tongue. But now that you mention it..." Batting my eyelashes, I slunk over to her, hands pawing at her quivering chest. "We do have ten minutes of break left, and the alley out back is probably deserted..."

 _"Oh GAWD!"_ With that, she slapped a hand over her mouth and dashed out, presumably headed for the bathroom to do the spinal bop.

After I had my hearty laugh at her expense, I lapsed back into silence.  _Was_ I "some big lez", as she so eloquently put it? Nah. Even without the cigarette aftertaste, I hadn't enjoyed that in the slightest - save the aftershow. So what if Arianna made three girls I'd kissed? I'd kissed plenty of guys back when I was head cheerleader, and Adymm and I made out every day, give or take a few. This whole thing made me feel a lot better about myself, even if I might end up with some horrible reputation around the workplace; _that_ I could handle.

* * *

"See you bright and early tomorrow, Chessler?"

"Of course, Mr. Scapelli," I said, tossing my apron into the laundry bin and grabbing my purse;  _GOD,_  was I glad I got off early that day. "Bye, then!"

He readjusted the combover my flying apron had blown free as he waved. "Ciao!"

On my way out the door, I spotted Arianna hanging around the doorway, twirling a cigarette between her fingers; I guess our talk had put the fear of God in her. No, actually I was sure of it, because as soon as she spotted me she dropped it. "Look, you - you stay away from me!"

"Wow, one little smooch is all it takes to get you jumpy, huh?"

She started fidgeting with the hem of her blouse, looking between the pavement and me. "N-no, you- you like, totally creep me out now. How am I supposed to work with you if you- if you want me? Doesn't that create a bad work environment or whatever?"

"Listen here, Red," I said, grabbing her shoulder; she jumped again, which was priceless. "The thing of it is, I'm not even a lesbian; my boyfriend and I are very happy together. But you're so super-sensitive about this that you're coming off as gayer than I am, know what I mean?"

"No way!" Her eyes were wide as saucers again. "But- but I'm  _not_ gay! I'm all about the man-meat!"

We both took a brief second to exchange "ew" glances at the vulgarity of her statement. "You don't have to convince me, Arianna. The whole thing was just supposed to be kind of a joke, okay?"

"Really?" I nodded. "So... you're not a mondo dyke? You don't wanna jump my bones?"

"I would  _not!_ " That imagery was shudder-worthy. "And even if I were to start chasing skirts, you wouldn't be very high on the list, trust me."

"Oh. Well... okay." She seemed to settle down for a minute, then her eyebrows knitted. "Hey, wait - why not?"

"Why not what?" Hah, I knew that would get to her; I turned away so she wouldn't notice my amused smirk.

"Are you saying you don't think I'm boinkable?"

"Of course not. See you tomorrow, Arianna."

"Hang on a second!" she shouted, jogging to keep up with me as I took off down the sidewalk. "Why wouldn't you wanna get me in the sack? Is there something wrong with me? It's this frumpy haircut, isn't it? Oh, I knew I shouldn't have listened to Vicki!"

_END Chapter Nine_


	10. Dashboard Confreaksional

"Steee- _rike!"_

"You lucky bastard!" Roxie shot at Sabrina as she picked her ball out of the return. "That's like, three strikes this frame!"

"When ya got it, ya got it!" Sabrina crowed, doing a little strut for us. As she sat down between me and Ophelia, she continued, "But  _why_ do I got it? I've never bowled this great before in my life!"

"Someone up there must think you deserve a break," Ophelia sighed glumly. "Meanwhile, I'm over here paying for past mistakes or something - why can't I hit more than one pin at a time?"

"Can't that Goddess of yours throw you a boost?" Sabrina taunted. "Divine your ball toward the middle?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose, just avoiding her barbell. "Oh, if there were only such a spell..."

"And to think this was your idea," I chided. "Bet seeing 'The Mexican' is sounding pretty good right about-"

_"Awright!"_

The three of us looked up to see Roxie looking satisfied. "I suppose a spare will do! You're up, Cheerless."

"Right back at you, Mindless," I growled playfully as I stood; she rolled her eyes and sat down.

We interrupt this dialogue in progress to bring you the following connecting plot points: after work, I showered all the grease off of my body and smoke out of my hair, put on a nice fluffy skirt and called up the girls for a night up Tenpin Alley. Well, actually I called Adymm to see if he wanted to get the guys together for a battle of the sexes, but he gave me some line about needing to work on an essay and that we'd do it another night. I was disappointed, but the show must go on. And now, the show goes on:

"Win one for the Gipper!" Sabrina shouted.

"For the  _wha?"_ I called back.

"Nevermind!"

Shrugging, I hefted my ball. Was it the right weight for me? Not that I could give two shits about who won or lost - in fact, I'd rather Sabrina or Roxie win so they'd have good memories of the trip.

That notion alone almost messed me up as I approached the foul line. Why did I care? Roxie was practically a total stranger, and as for the freakazoid... but I was smiling. They were my friends, no matter how much the devil on my shoulder tried to convince me otherwise. The old Libby Chessler was buried with the comfortable, shallow life she had lived at Westbridge High - and even though her ghost would haunt me now and again, for the most part I was... reborn, maybe? I think that may be the most accurate description of my experiences over the past two years; I rose again, stronger than ever, like Jesus or the mythic phoenix (or Drew Barrymore's career). Life had thrown me a truckload of lemons, and I just kept squirting out that lemonade!

...You're right, that sounded really,  _really_ bad - but not half as bad as the sudden commotion behind me.

"Dammit, you take that back!"

"Oh, make me, broom-jumper!"

Dropping my ball distractedly into the gutter, I raced back to the seats around the scoring machine to see what had gotten into everybody in the scant few seconds since I left them.

"Please," Roxie was pleading desperately, "you guys need to chill out! We're going to get thrown out if you-"

"A broom-jumper, am I?" Ophelia growled, hand white-knuckling the back of her now-empty seat. "How do you get off insulting my ceremonies when you probably want everybody to throw edible grains at you - and kill dozens of birds in the process!"

"Look, it's fine!" Sabrina's attempt at nonchalance was easy to see through. "Maybe you  _do_ get your kicks pretending every day of the year is Hallowe'en, but the rest of us have to grow up sometime! Besides, that thing about the rice is just an urban legend!"

It was obvious by now that Ophelia was completely bewildered. "What is  _wrong_ with you? If you want me to go, I'll go, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Fine." Ophelia grabbed her boots from under her chair, and as she shoved her feet into them she glanced sideways at Roxie and me briefly. I couldn't figure it out - why did she do that? "It's not like I was going to win, anyway. See you later, Libby."

"Ophelia, don't-!" But she had too good a head of steam running toward the door; the cashier ducked as she threw the bowling shoes at him, leaving a scuff on the wall.

"Sabrina, what the hell is your problem?" Roxie snapped. "I don't care how you feel about her religion - that was astonishingly outta line!"

"Well, she shouldn't be so sensitive! I mean, isn't it a mark of strong faith if a stray Doubting Thomas or two can't shake it?" Maybe Roxie was buying this, but I wasn't. There was a look in her eye that I'd seen many times: the look of "I'm only saying this to make myself feel better about doing something I know is wrong, but it's probably not going to work."

 _"Okay,_ " I said slowly and loudly, drawing both girls' attention. "Would someone  _please_ explain what I missed?"

"What's to explain?" Roxie said under her breath. "Sabrina's a bigot."

"I am  _not_ a bigot!" she shouted. _"She_ needs to stop acting like a kid and face the real world, and in the real world, drawing pentagrams and burning incense does very little to better your situation!"

For a moment we glared evenly at her, arms folded, while she huffed and puffed, cheeks red. When she realised how she must look, she looked down at her shoes. "Well, she does."

"Sabrina," I began, still aghast at the situation, "aren't  _you_ the one who told  _me_ that 'Real friends don't hate their friends' other friends'? How can you be this way?"

"That was a long time ago," she muttered. "The world isn't that black and white."

"Man... I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I think you should go home." I saw Roxie nod out of the corner of my eye. Normally, having somebody agree with me makes me feel good, but there was nothing good about this.

"Who do you think you are, telling me what to do?" Her eyes narrowed. "Are you supposed to be my surrogate mother or something?"

"No, I'm supposed to be your friend, but right now I don't much feel like being that, either."

She nodded slowly, mouth drawn into a tight smile. "Well, then. That's great. Does that go for you, too, Roxie?" When Roxie didn't even answer, she exploded. " _Fine!_  I'm going back to the hotel, and maybe while I'm gone  _you two_  can grow up, too! Who knows - maybe you'll never see me again, and then you can all be happy!" And out she stormed.

"Go after her," Roxie grumbled, plopping down in a seat and tugging at her raven tresses. "She's liable to do something recklessly stupid right about now."

"Are you serious? After what she said to-"

"She knows; she's just being pig-headed. Chase her down if you can, I'll watch our lane."

With a nod, out I ran, ignoring the register jockey's protests at stealing a pair of their shoes.

* * *

"Sabrina, wait up!"

"Should you be trying this hard to talk to a dangerous bigot like me?"

Panting, I caught up to where she was waiting for the "DON'T WALK" to change to the wee glowing man, squinting through the sunset. "Bigot you may be, but you don't have to run off like this."

"I thought this is what you wanted," she said, not turning to look at me. "Me to go home, right? To leave you alone, right? Well, I'm going, so you're getting what you wanted; you should go back and finish the game with Roxie. You two and Ophelia can be friends forever and such."

"But-"

 _"Leave me alone!"_ she screamed, rounding on me and causing several passerby to glance over. "Can you do that? Can you do that for once?!"

Before I could stop her, she raced across the street; luckily, the glowing man had just shown up, so she made it across safely. Once she was on the other side, she shrieked over her shoulder, _"I HATE YOU!"_

For a moment, I was going to let her go. It would have mostly ended the story, actually; she probably would have gone back to the hotel, had a good cry, we would have called each other after a while and made up, then spent the rest of the trip being all chummy until she had to go back. Maybe we'd see each other again over the summer. That would have been easy.

But when she looked back to scream at me, I saw the tears. The tears that told me she felt awful for everything she was doing, and for some reason still had to do it. The tears that told me there was more to this story.

"Sabrina, wait!"

But I hesitated too long. I was halfway through the crosswalk when I heard the horn blasting; there was only enough time to see the headlights out of the corner of my eye before it hit me.

No, I swear it hit me. I know it did; I could smell the metal on the truck. A Mack; I could see the giant letters across the grill clearly once it ran me over. Everything stopped, and I was dead.

Except a few seconds later I noticed everything was cold. Cold and rough against my face, like sandpaper.

When I sat up, I first saw the shingles my cheek had been grating on. Then ledges, and a chimney. Then all the other details that tell you you're sitting on a rooftop in New York City... except that was impossible. I had no memory of moving from the street to the roof, yet there I was, and it was, and everything was.

"How do you feel?"

I whirled to see Sabrina standing there, eyes wide with fear, looking exactly like she had on the other side of the street. Then, I glanced over at the Western sky; sunset. Exactly where it was when I caught up to Sabrina on the corner.

"What just happened?"

"You fell over," she began gently, helping me to my feet. "On the sidewalk, so- so I took you home. You were talking like a crazy woman, said you wanted to see the roof, so I-"

"Stop lying. You know that's not what happened." Her mouth hung open, still ready with whatever her next word was. "Don't you sit there and tell me that truck didn't hit me. Am I... dead?"

"Oh, of course not! If you were dead, how could I be standing here talking to you?"

"I shouldn't be standing  _at all!"_ Running my hand through my hair, it hit me; everything made sense in one blinding flash. "You did it. I was going to die, and- and you did something."

"No, I didn't!" she said quickly. "I- I mean, what truck? What are you-"

"At the most, only a few minutes could have passed between the impact and right now; look at the sun!" I pointed wildly to illustrate my point, but she didn't follow my gesture. "Getting from the bowling alley up to this rooftop would have taken an  _hour,_  at least!"

"No, you're- you're wrong," she babbled, clearly distressed; her nervous, flighty movements were becoming more and more frequent. "I- I brought you home is all, you-"

"I knew it. I knew there was something different about you all along, but I bought your all-too-convenient excuses, played along and pretended you were just in the wrong place at the right time; that all those coincidences didn't add up to anything, even though I knew they did. God, how  _stupid_ I am!"

"Libby, you- d-don't know what you're saying! You fell over an- and-"

"Sabrina Spellman," I accused, levelling my finger at her, "you're a... a mutant!"

_END Chapter Ten_


	11. Cheerless Whisper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, right? I'm sure it was like waiting for cheese to mould, but now Libby's onto her in a real sense.

Cut me some slack, okay? I was trying to get a handle on all this, and my dad and I had just watched "X-Men" on video a few nights prior. Let's see  _you_ get it right the first time you find out your best friend isn't quite human!

"I'm... what?" And she laughed - anxiously, maybe, but she laughed. "Oh, Libby..."

"What are you guffawing at?!" I shouted. "Don't make fun of me, I know I'm right!"

"But you're wrong," she said, almost resigned now. "Not totally wrong, but... off."

"Then you're some kind of... alien, or witch, or something!"

Silence. It was almost worse than actively confirming it; she didn't try to refute me. My blood turned to ice, and my head began spinning.

"You really are, aren't you? Oh God..."

"Libby, I can explain-"

"All those times... all those times I found myself on the floor or doing something insane without reason, or when you seemed to be in two places at once, or- or when we caught every single green light between your house and the school! You've been using your otherworldy powers to do stuff to me, haven't you?"

"No! No, not  _to_ you, and not in a while!"

We both stopped cold, staring at each other; her hands covered mouth, and her eyes were wide as saucers at basicaly admitting her true nature.

"But you have, haven't you? That first day I met you, when I banished you from the popular kids' bathroom... I couldn't stop drawing all over my face with my lipstick. That was you, wasn't it?"

She fidgeted.

"And... and I seem to remember eating a bunch of paper towels one day, and not being able to figure out why."

Her fingers twisted together and untwisted.

"Oh my God, you've been- you've been playing with me!"

"No!"

My anger was threatening to overpower my fear and shock, now. "What am I, some kind of toy to you? Is this world your Barbie Dreamhouse, and we're all just dolls to push around?"

She was growing almost frantic. "No, God no, Libby! How can you-"

"How many of you are there?!"

She looked at me for a long moment before averting her gaze. "I- I can't tell you."

"Why not?" A somewhat depraved smile was growing on my lips. "Your aunts are in on it, too, aren't they? Yeah, that must have been what your phone conversation was about!"

"My phone con-"

"Tell me, am I right?!"

"I- I can't!" she shouted. "I can't expose anyone who doesn't want to be found out!"

"But I  _want_ to expose them!" This was too much; was there a whole secret society of aliens living right under my nose? "Everybody's going to know you exist when I'm through!"

And when she looked at me, I was unnerved to see that her scared look didn't seem to be the same as before; it seemed more grave than frantic, now. "You don't want to do that."

"Of  _course_ I do! We humans have got a right to know we're being invaded, don't we?!"

"Libby, you don't seem to understand-"

"I'm going to the government! There's got to be  _one_ federal operative who'll listen to me and help expose you for the-"

_"They'll KILL you!"_

My eyes flew open, startled at just how violent that outburst was. "Wh... what?"

She was crying again. Crying, for the second time in as many days. My sheer fury broke seeing that, because as much as I didn't trust her at that moment, tears from Sabrina were a big red flag that she wasn't at all kidding.

"Sabrina... what do you mean?" When she didn't speak, I peered around the rooftop, searching for anything that was out of sorts. "Are they watching me? Listening in, right now?"

"No," she whispered. "But... but if you try anything crazy like that, like spouting off about it all over the place, they'll find a way. They'll find a way to... silence you. Mortals aren't supposed to know."

"Mortals?" That's when it fully hit me. "So then... you're not aliens? More like witches or gods, I suppose." And she only nodded, which spurred me forward. "Witches?" She nodded again. "Oh, this is un-freaking-believable. You're telling me- are you saying Salem was  _real?!"_

"Not really," she said meekly. "I mean, it happened, and there are witches, but... most of the poor women they burned were in the wrong place at the wrong time." Sighing deeply, she took a step toward me, but when she saw me backing up she stopped. "Libby, you're missing the point, here - you have to forget about all this! If you go around making too much noise, raising a stink, they'll shut you up! Even if they don't kill you, they'll-"

"What? They'll what, Sabrina?"

Her tears were flowing freely, now. "There's worse things than dying, Libby. Do you remember that girl I was friends with Sophomore year?"

"Jenny what's-her-face? What about her?" My eyes flew open. _"No!"_

"Not exactly," she amended quickly. "That's not the reason she left Westbridge! But... well, there was this one time she wandered into the Other Realm, and she got-"

"Into  _what?!"_

"Other Realm," she continued doggedly. "Mortals aren't supposed to be there - ever, really." I nodded dumbly; specifics and technicalities were beyond my scope at that time. "Anyway, you wanna know what they did to her? Turned her into a grasshopper."

I blinked as the fear started creeping up again. "They... they what?"

"Oh, I got them to turn her back," she said matter-of-factly. "Found a loophole in the rules - but if I hadn't been able to figure that out, she'd be an insect forever! Don't you see? If you go around breaking down the walls of secrecy, you'll become a... a problem."

"And... and problems have to be solved," I finished for her, genuinely in a state of terror now. "I- I'm really going to die, aren't I?"

"No, no," she soothed again. "Not if you... if you help me?"

"Help you? I don't even wanna  _know_ you! I mean, what the hell are you made of? You're-"

In the same moment, the thought hit both of us. My eyes widened in vindication, and hers in dread. Even as my mouth opened, I could see the slight shake of her head, the silent "No, please don't" playing at her lips.

"You really are. You're a freak."

Her arms went to her sides, head hung in defeat.

"My God." Suddenly I found myself walking around her, staring at her, fascinated. "All those times I called you one, and- and you really are! I've been right about you from day one! That's, that's absolutely ridiculous, and yet... oddly satisfying."

"Good. I'm glad you're having fun with this."

"Now, what did you mean by helping you? Not that I will, because I certainly want nothing to do with you from now on."

"Don't tell anybody." It was simple and to the point. She didn't have the energy to expound upon it because, as I can now tell in retrospect, she was in mourning. Mourning the death of something sacred we had been building together. Mourning our friendship. "You'll be fine as long as you keep all this to yourself."

"How am I supposed to believe that?" I babbled. "After all you've told me just now, how can I trust you?"

"You can't, I guess."

This was starting to get to me; why was she so unhelpful? "Then what-"

"Do whatever you want," she went on, wiping her eyes. "Maybe I deserve this, maybe this is my pennance for being what I am. Hell, you wanted me to leave you alone before this, so it's just as well, right?"

"Speaking of pennance," I said as it flew through my brain unhindered, "did you arrange for me to lose my family life and end up in that awful boarding school? Was that you and your fellow witch folk?"

"Think what you will. It doesn't even matter to me anymore, because the memory spell didn't work, and I have no hope of turning back time, so I guess I'm stuck being alone again."

"Wait, what?" My blood started boiling again. "You- you used a memory spell on me?"

"To forget. Only to forget what happened just now, down on the street. But like I said, it's not working; you must have reached your quota."

"Then there've been other times," I went on madly. "Have you been trying to make me think we were friends? Has... Sabrina, has it all been a lie?!"

She laughed humourlessly, eyes rising toward the now-dark sky and its budding stars. "It's happening all over again - I'm losing the most important people in my life to this curse of mine. Will it always be this way?"

My eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'again'? I'm not the first person to find you out, and... and they didn't take too kindly to the news, either, huh?" Now I  _really_ felt justified - I wasn't alone in flipping out over something this huge! "So, who was it? Anybody I know?"

Then I noticed her finger was pointed at herself. She was getting ready to do a spell, and it was a powerful one because her whole body was glowing, too... but she was crying so hard she was having trouble concentrating. For a while, I just watched her shimmer, marvelling at how spectacular and breathtaking she looked like that, until finally she looked up and said, "Goodbye, Libby."

Desperate for more information of any kind, I hastily reiterated my previous question. "Wait! Who was it?! Who else knows about this?!" And with one last, gut-wrenching glance at me before she faded away completely, she told me.

"Harvey."

_END Chapter Eleven_


	12. All The Freaks She Said

Before I get rolling with a very lengthy transcript of my inner turmoil, let's put this out there: even though it was dwarfed by every other impossible thought vying for equal attention, the notion that Harvey dumped her over this made me feel at least a smidge sorry for her. That has to be rough, no matter  _what_ species you are.

I lied awake all night, trying to make some sense out of everything I had learned. Might I remind you, that included the fact that pretty much everything I took for granted in life was a complete and utter lie. All men are created equal? Lie. You only die once? Lie. Magic doesn't exist?  _Yowza._  And on top of all that, the girl who I thought of as my best friend turns out to not only be hiding a secret big enough to shake the world... but she's not even human.

Sabrina Spellman was a witch. A  _witch!_  It did make sense of all those crazy things she'd done. For instance? I  _knew_ that door to the high school wasn't just "stuck"; she must have magically jimmied the lock. And even in the best of circumstances, nobody can change their clothes in ten seconds flat, which she had done at least twice with me in the same room. This had been going on as long as I'd known her, right under my nose, and I had been blind to it all. More than getting me angry at her, it made me feel like an utter ignoramus.

This did put one thing into perspective, though: why she'd been so unpleasant around Ophelia. I mean, if you were an honest-to-God magical being and you met somebody who called themselves a witch because they had a few spellbooks and some herbs, I suppose you might be a bit condescending, too, right? Whatever her people might be, evidently they had a fair streak of pride. It didn't make it right, but at least it made sense, now.

But I wasn't really getting anywhere. Make sense of this?  _HOW?!_  None of it was possible, and yet it was true. Who knows how much of my life was affected by the world of witchcraft? If there were no witches, maybe I would be knee-deep in gorgeous boys at Adams College, my life still on the fast track! Maybe my mother would never have ran off to some other country, and maybe I never would have contracted hypothermia, and maybe I never would have been drugged in the middle of a rave!

Or maybe I'd be dead.

That thought didn't occur to me until I was in the shower the next morning; though I don't remember going to sleep, I suppose I passed out from sheer exhaustion at some point. But once that possibility cropped up, I found it hard to ignore above all others; Sabrina had saved my life.  _Twice._  There was no way of knowing if my life would ever have been in danger in the first place had she not been there, but the fact remained that as far as I could tell, she hadn't made me run into the street or into the cold with her special powers - I had done that on my own. To protect her secret, she could have simply let me freeze to death or let the truck hit me, been all sad and remorseful, maybe brought flowers to my grave and carried on with her witchly existence, secure in the knowledge that her identity was safe.

Instead, she risked being found out to rescue me. Whatever she was, whoever she may or may not be working for, saving me was totally unnecessary to  _her_ survival - yet she did it anyway.

I sat down on the edge of the bathtub, shampoo running down into my eyes and causing them to sting. Had I gone too far? Was my reaction unreasonable? Of course not - all those amazing truths I found out! However, that didn't mean it was right to leave things this way; even if she turned me into a toad for it, and even if we went back to being enemies afterward, at the very,  _very_ least, I owed her thanks for saving my life. What kind of woman would I be if I didn't so much as thank the person who kept me from becoming a pavement pizza?

'Then again,' I thought as I blotted at my hair with the towel, 'she's not human. What if I approach her and she zaps me into another dimension, or shoots flaming arrows from her fingertips?' Maybe those notions were ridiculous, but anything was possible. No, it was best to stay away from her - especially now that I knew her secret, because they were  _watching._

In fact, I spent the entire time I was making myself a Pop Tart sandwich (I was too distracted to realise I was spreading peanut butter between two of them) looking over my shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of some kind of warlock spy hiding behind the refridgerator. This went on for a good half hour before it hit me: if they had been successfully hiding from me this long, what made me think I was going to catch them now? What a maroon I was.

' _IF_ I go over there to talk to Sabrina,' I mused while stuffing my feet into a pair of droll work pumps, 'what would I even  _say?!_ ' An apology for acting the way I did might sound good, but was I really sorry? My reactions felt totally justified to me, and yet I knew I'd hurt her feelings. The image of her crying right before she disappeared (She  _disappeared!_   For a second, that almost derailed my train of thought.) came back to me; creatures like her obviously felt emotion, too.

Not only that, but as much as I tried to apply witchcraft to a lot of those crazy situations I've been going through lately, they all had more plausible non-magical explanations. Our fight in the rain? That could just as well have been me and Adymm or me and Ophelia arguing; it's not like we started flying around or something. And Mom leaving? No, she didn't need any witches creating excuses for her totally unmotherly behaviour; she was always a terrible parent. Me ending up in Swords Private Academy was the only thing that might have been magically influenced, but that was something Mother had been talking about even  _before_ I met Sabrina. I'd only know for sure if I asked, and I was still feeling iffy about talking to her at all.

But back to Harvey. See, I knew it would have taken something big to make him dump Sabrina - it never made sense to me! Maybe she had used magic to make him fall in love with her, but once he found out she wasn't human, he dropped her like a hot potato and ran. She deserved it!

And then again, why hadn't she  _made_ him stay? If she can teleport us both from the street to a rooftop - several blocks away, mind you - she should be able to keep one boy from leaving her. Yet she didn't. Maybe she  _couldn't_ \- it's possible she can't change people's emotions. But it seemed more likely to me that she  _wouldn't._  If I could trust what I thought I knew about her personality, she would think keeping Harvey as a "love slave" wasn't worth it, since there wouldn't really be any love in the relationship that way. He'd found out what she was, left... and broke her heart.

As I walked distractedly down the sidewalk toward Scapelli's, I decided I had to tempt fate by seeing her again. It's not even that I wanted to or didn't want to, but I  _had_ to; there were too many unanswered questions plaguing me. Risky as it seemed, I couldn't move on with all this up in the air.

* * *

_KNOCK-KNOCK!_

My arm would never forgive me for what I was doing to it right now, but I couldn't help it; this was probably the most on-edge I'd ever felt, and old habits die hard. I looked up and down the hallway, bouncing on the heels of my aching feet and wishing I'd skipped work and gone straight here. Work was unimportant in the face of things such as this.

Just when I was going to knock again, the door opened - with the chain on. My heart sank a little.

"What do  _you_ want?" Roxie's eyeball asked me. "And why is your arm all red?"

"I... I want t-to talk to Sabrina." Was she a witch, too? Were  _all_ her friends witches? It boggled the mind!

"She doesn't wanna talk to you."

"Oh. D-did she say why?"

Without another word she slammed the door in my face. After a few stunned seconds, I dejectedly moved toward the elevator. That's it, I guess; we'd go our seperate ways, and as long as I didn't try to alert the Men In Black, I'd survive. But I'd be awful unsatisfied with how it all played out.

Then, I heard the door open behind me. I whirled, hopeful, but it was only Roxie, carrying the ice bucket.

Still, it was Roxie - and she jogged to catch up with me, her face still stony.

"Roxie? What-"

"She won't tell me anything," she whispered. "All she says is that you guys had some kind of, of- for some reason she insists on using the word 'encounter' a lot. It's weird."

"Oh..."

Her eyes tried to meet mine. "Can you shed any light on this, or is this like whatever happened at the rave?"

Then I met her eyes. "She... she still hasn't told you about the rave?"

"No!" As a bellboy walked by, she grabbed me and flattened us against the wall. "What is going on between you two? I mean it, if you don't tell me right now, I'm gonna start jumping to some pretty interesting conclusions!"

"Sabrina's- Sabrina's-" But I couldn't do it. As many parts of me wanted  _desperately_ to tell her, to tell  _anybody_ what I knew, my conscience and my fear of being dissected by science-witches (if there were any) worked in tandem to silence the rest of me.

"What?! Come on, Libby, I'm tired of being in the middle of this!"

"I can't," I sighed. "She'd want to tell you, and I- I can't betray her trust." Quietly, I added, "No matter what."

"Again with that," she said, sighing as well. "Well, just so you know, I do have other lesbian friends, so it's not like I won't understand."

"Yeah, but it's-" Wait. What? "Wait, what?"

"I'm not that stupid," she hissed, pulling me further down the hall into the alcove where the ice and snack machines were. "Even without these 'encounters', I can sense the more-than-friends chemistry flying between you two all the time. You've been having some kind of long-distance secret romance, haven't you?"

" _NO!_ " I said honestly, but I was so fidgety that I must have looked like the biggest liar in the universe - besides the fact that the "encounter" in the gym  _was_ slightly less than hetero.

"It's okay," she soothed, patting my shoulder. "So maybe I flipped out when you first tried to cover it up, but that's only because she's sleeping in the same room as me and it made me uncomfortable... at first. But now that I know she's in love with you-"

"You are totally barking up the wrong tree, here, Roxanna!" I snapped, glancing toward the alcove entrance; her eyebrows raised threateningly as her arms crossed when she heard her unshortened given name. "I- I love Adymm, and- and I assure you I am one hundred per cent straight!"

"That's not what Ophelia and Arianna told me."

_END Chapter Twelve_


	13. Queens Falling Apart

My jaw wobbled up and down, but produced no sound. This was like feeling the rug being jerked out from under you. People had told on me?! When I focused on her again, Roxie's eyes were rolling.

"God, I'm a  _reporter,_  you dolt! What did you think I was doing when you and Sabrina were off by yourselves? Did you really think I was innocently sleeping next to Ophelia while you two were making out on the fire escape?"

"We were  _not_ making-"

"And you'll never believe who walked into the bowling alley after you guys ran out. That's right - your airheaded coworker! Yeah, I overheard her telling her friends all about some girl named Libby shoving her tongue down her throat in the breakroom! Was that what the fight was about? Are you cheating on both Adymm  _and_ Sabrina, now?!"

"No, of  _course_ not!" I shouted. "I would  _never_ cheat on Adymm  _or_ Sabrina!"

That's when my hand went to my mouth. What was I saying? I wasn't dating Sabrina at all - why had I phrased it like that?! But it was too late to take it back, because Roxie's face had been totally overcome with an impenetrable grimace of triumph.

"So you  _are_ seeing Sabrina."

"No, I'm n-not!" I backpedaled. "I only meant that- well,  _if_ we were going out, I wouldn't-"

"Save it." Then she took a step toward me, her gaze colder than ever. "Maybe you two are stuck in your closet, and this is all probably none of my business, but know this: if you ever hurt Sabrina again, no matter what the situation, I will personally see to it that you have no further opportunities. Got me, Loobyloo?"

Wow. That was about the creepiest, most fear-inspiring thing anyone's said to me - other than finding out my best friend's immortal, that is. While I wanted to protest, to tell her everything, to further deny all those strange things she thought about me... I nodded. All I could do was nod.

"Good. Now, maybe you should go, 'cause it's obvious Sabrina isn't ready to talk to you about anything yet."

"But-"

"Are you going to make me repeat myself?" she growled, grabbing me by the collar.

"No, of course not!" I whimpered.

"That's better," she said, patting me on the cheek roughly. "Remember what I said."

It was a few minutes later when it actually registered that Roxie had let me go, grabbed a bucketfull of ice and returned to her room. It also registered that I was on the floor, shaking like a leaf.

* * *

Well, there was one microscopic silver lining to this: Roxie knew nothing. As much as it pained me that she thought I was some gigantic whore running around on everybody, she had no idea Sabrina was a witch... and that probably meant she wasn't one. Despite the pain it caused me, I didn't let the secret slip, and Sabrina was still safe.

Even though I wasn't sure I cared. Sabrina was not a member of the human race! Should I still care if she was safe or not? While I seemed to automatically protect her, I wasn't sure if I should - what if she was dangerous? What if the witches were going to rise up and take over the world? But all that was kind of moot at the moment, because as hard as it was to fathom, I had weirder things to think about.

Roxie thought we were lesbians. Was it even wise to refute it? I mean, she was getting more and more impatient for a real answer to what we were hiding, and if she bought this convenient alibi, it was a good thing... right? For Sabrina's sake (See? Automatically!), I might have to play at being a dyke for a few more days; it was a disturbing prospect, but one I had to consider. I seemed to step into the role quite easily, after all.

But then there was Adymm. If I let Roxie run with this story, in her over-protective state she might confront Adymm for some reason, and then he'd know, and I couldn't deal with that right now. Was it any wiser to let this lie grow? What if it got out of hand, and everybody thought I was a "vagitarian", and Adymm dumped me, and guys stopped asking me out? Would I be  _forced_ into  _becoming_ the lie? Most of these thoughts might seem kind of ridiculous  _now,_  but at the time every single one seemed very real and unpleasant.

And in the middle of it all, there was one thing that stuck out in front of all this, one thing that I could possibly act upon immediately - and as I thundered down the subway steps, rubbing tokens between my fingers, I knew I was going to do precisely that.

* * *

"I know you're in there!" Pacing up and down in the dingy hall, waiting for an answer was not what I came here for, and I was getting increasingly tired of it. "You  _have_ to be!"

"No I don't," came the quiet reply finally.

"Open this door, Opheila!" I shouted; someone from a neighbouring apartment yelled to keep it down, but I couldn't be bothered with such things at the moment. "I know why you've been acting so strange around me lately! You have some explaining to do!"

"Please, don't hurt me," she pleaded. "I- I didn't-"

"Open up!"

"This... this isn't a very good t-"

_"OPEN!"_

And she did; when the crack in the door was still only a few inches wide, I shoved my way through, knocking her back onto her tush. " _OW!_ "

"You." I let the door swing closed as I stared down at her. "You betrayed me. You told."

"N-no, I- I didn't mean to!"

Seething, I picked her up by the shoulders and shook her. "How much did you blab, huh? Everything, I'll bet! Was it fun dishing all that dirt to Roxie?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why?" I shook her again. " _Why,_  Ophelia?!"

"It was an accident, I swear!"

_"Tell me what you said or-"_

_"Stop it, please!!"_

_"WHAT'S GOING ON?!"_

That last voice wasn't coming from one of us. When I glanced away from Ophelia's face, I saw TQ coming out of the bathroom, hands curled into fists.

"Stay out of this!" I growled. "It's a private conversation!"

"It just got a whole lot less private," he said, stepping between us and shoving me roughly. "Now, you'd better start breathing or-"

"Thad," she whispered. "It's okay."

He looked shocked, disbelieving. "How can it be? You're crying."

So she was; but she didn't even stop to acknowledge it. "She's right; this is a private conversation. I need you to run to the store for me, I... I'm out of granola."

"But-"

 _"GO."_   When he didn't move, she added, "I'll be fine, I promise. Please."

With one last, poisionous look at me, he stomped past us and out the door, slamming it hard.

"You didn't have to do that," I said, teeth gritted. "You should be able to tell by now that I'd be up for slapping you around a little."

"I can. And... and if you chose to act on that feeling, I can't say I wouldn't deserve it. But TQ still doesn't know about our underground CPR class, and this is not how I want him learning about something like that."

"Then-"

"It slipped out." Wiping her eyes, she walked over and sat on the edge of her brown, second-hand couch. "You have to understand that, I- I never meant to tell her anything at all. My tongue needs tightening."

"So how much-"

"Practically nothing." Her eyes raised to mine, shining with unleaked tears. "Oh, God, what have I done? You- you asked me, point blank, never to tell anybody, and what do I do? But... but she said she'd never tell anybody I told her. Well, I guess this is my karma in action, right?"

"You've really been hurting over this, haven't you?" I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "Christ, this is only going to get worse, isn't it?"

"She knows we kissed," she finally admitted. "And... and that your mother caught us. That's kind of how the whole thing came out; she was telling a funny story about her mother catching her-" She hesitated.

My mouth twisted into a wry half-grin. "Go ahead; it's only fair, since she told me."

She almost smiled for a second. "Her mom caught her jilling off to some guy in a teeny bopper magazine, back when she was like, thirteen, and- and before I could stop myself, I had told her just enough that no amount of 'Oh, nevermind' would erase it from her memory." She shot to her feet, hands clasped over her chest. "I wasn't even thinking! It just occurred to me that it was kind of the same thing, and- oh, man, I am such a fuckup!"

After a long moment - maybe it was too long, and therefore cruel of me - I sighed. "No, not really. We're all 'fucking up', to borrow your vernacular, and... and you're no worse than the rest of us, I guess." I cleared my throat. "Ophie, I'm sorry if I hurt you earlier."

"Don't worry about it," she said with a weak smile, sniffling. "But you have to tell me something. Or, I guess you don't have to, but I do have to ask."

"Sure, anything," I said, suddenly wanting desperately to make up with Ophelia so I wouldn't be completely friendless... and because she was mostly an innocent bystander in all this.

"Well," she began slowly, lowering her voice, "is Sabrina... a witch?"

_END Chapter Thirteen_


	14. Constants And Freakiables

My reaction was smooth and deeply calm. "Uhh, er, uhhh-"

"You don't have to tell me," she blurted suddenly, squeezing her eyes shut. "I- even if she is, it's none of my business, and she's obviously  _really_ not ready to tell anyone. But... but I get this vibe from her, y'know? Like she's into something - something  _way_ bigger than anything I could ever handle. Hence the over-defensiveness."

My hand combed through my hair again distractedly. "Wh-what are you talking about, Ophelia? I mean, what would give you the-"

"You don't have to," she soothed, placing a hand on my forearm. "I guess this is kind of her call if she wants to tell me. But... but I felt like I had to ask, y'know? Like if I didn't, I'd explode!" Then she coughed, turning away. "Anyway... I'll understand if you need to go or something."

Time to steer this conversation elsewhere. "What... what did Roxie say?"

She looked up at me. "Huh?"

"When you told- uh, that is, when she heard. How'd she react?"

"Two words:  _pissed off."_ Her pupils dilated just remembering it. "Wow, she was really mad! I mean, I guess she's really protective of Adymm... or Sabrina? Yeah, the way she was acting really made it seem like she thought you and Sabrina had hooked up."

"Trust me, I got an earful of that, too," I grumbled.

"Don't even tell me if you have," she said quickly. "I don't want to know any more, I'll probably just blab it all over town. But the thing is, she kept demanding to know more, like I was holding out on her. After a while she gave up, but I got a strong impression that she wasn't satisfied."

"Ophelia... I'm sorry."

She didn't respond; all she did was stand there, looking at me curiously through a curtain of turquoise bangs.

"So maybe you letting the subway incident slip out wasn't exactly good, but... it was an accident, and I understand that, now. I've been letting myself get so upset about everything that I didn't even stop to listen to your side of the story, which-" And I had to laugh. "Which is exactly what Roxie did to me at the hotel. God, how stupid can I get? Please accept my humble apologies."

"Aww, no big deal," she said bashfully, kicking at the carpet. "Everybody goes a little postal now and then."

"Can you believe it, though?" I laughed. "She thought I was running around behind both Sabrina  _and_ Adymm's backs! As if I'm so irresistable that I can hold all these lovers of various gender to me."

"Yeah," she laughed... but her laugh wasn't as full-bodied. When the room got quiet a few seconds too soon, I sensed she had more to say.

"Spit it out."

"Huh? Oh... no, I can't. It's weird, and it doesn't really matter, now."

"No, go ahead... you obviously want to say whatever it is."

She waffled for a moment, then sighed and said, "You don't give yourself enough credit, y'know? And don't think I'm just talking crazy, because... because I know it."

I shook my head slightly. "Sorry, I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"I could have loved you, Libby."

The room suddenly became frigid for some reason; I folded my arms over my chest, looking between the front door and the window. "Wh- what's that?"

"Don't misunderstand, it's not like I've been pining for you - not at all! But..." She turned away again. "That day, even before we got to the subway... I could tell you were special. What I'm saying is, if you'd been more open to it, and I'd been more forceful-"

"I'm not sure I want to hear the rest of this," I said frantically.

"You have to!" she shouted, grabbing me by the shoulders. "What I'm saying is, you're loveable! Despite all these horrible things happening lately, I don't want you to forget that you have worth, and anybody - guy, girl, or hippopotamus - would be lucky to have you!"

"Ophelia, this- this is-" Shaking slightly, I pushed her hands away. "Please, you're- you're making me uncomfortable with this, and- and I don't mean to be, but-"

"I know." She sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose again. "And I knew you would be. But I felt like I had to tell you, that while I'm glad I got back together with TQ and you and Adymm are doing well and everything... that doesn't mean I forgot. That kiss was real, and- and maybe in some other alternate continuum, I could have been happy with you. Telling you all this might be weird and unnecessary, but there it is."

We were quiet for a moment, and then Ophelia sat me down on her couch. "I- I guess," I muttered. "I mean, I- it's not like I didn't feel anything. You really did lay one on me that night, and... I could tell you weren't playing around." My cheeks started to overheat. "I've been kind of blocking the memory out before now, but  _wow,_ that was some kiss!"

"Yeah," she laughed. "It was."

"Are you sure you don't wanna get back together? We could set off a few more fireworks..."

"Oh, shut up, doofus." Smiling, she glanced up at the clock. "Well, TQ should be getting back from the market any time now, and it might be best if you're not here; I can cool him down better by myself."

"You have a point." She walked me to the door, and we were about to say our goodbyes when a couple of really important things popped into my head. "Ophie?"

"Yeah?"

"I hope she does this herself at some point, but... I'm sorry for the way Sabrina acted at the bowling alley. That was ass."

"Don't worry about it," she sighed. "It's not like she's the first person to persecute me and my people, and most have got spikier barbs to throw."

"More importantly, though..." While I hesitated to think of the right words, she leaned against the doorjamb, eyebrows raised. "I... I trust you with my life."

The colour rose in her cheeks. "You shouldn't; I haven't done a very good-"

"I do. You may have made one little snafu, but... hey, you're not the only girl who can tell when she's met someone special."

It was almost enough to melt away all the awful events of the day, seeing her grin like that again.

* * *

Almost.

As I plodded up the long, winding walkway to Adymm's front door, every emotion that surged through me seemed to feel worse than the last. Betrayal from Sabrina and Roxie; they had both turned their backs on me for various reasons, and though they might or might not be in the right, it hurt like a mother regardless. Fear about Sabrina's secret; would I really be able to keep this under wraps? I hoped I could for both of our sakes.

And no matter what happened to me for it, I had to tell Adymm about everything, which dosed me with a couple thousand CCs of guilt. Should I be doing what I was about to do? Yes. Maybe I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about Sabrina's secret, but my boyfriend isn't just anyone, y'know? He needed to know what was going on with me, because if anybody would be able to sense something was off, it was him. It didn't make me feel any better about it, though.

"Hey," he said with a warm smile when he opened the door. "I was starting to wonder if I'd see you today."

"I know it's kinda late," I said, "but do you have a few?"

"Always." His eyebrows knitting, he widened the door to let me in.

His room is huge, by the way; the ceiling is high and ornate, like one of those ancient churches. He's kind of cluttered it up with all those crazy goth kid things like band posters and blacklights, but it remained impressive despite. As I sunk down into his computer chair, he crossed to the bay window and looked out at the cloudy night.

"It's kinda chilly out there," he mentioned offhandedly. "I figured it would be chilly today."

"Adymm... it's like this," I jumped in head-first. "There's been some stuff going on lately, and- and I know you should have been in on it all along, but I'm telling you now, and I hope that's enough."

"You don't have to tell me," he said softly... and it was only then it hit me that he'd been acting very strangely since he opened the door. Way to be observant, Libby. "I know."

"What?" Okay, if he knew  _everything,_  that would be a trip, right? "How could you know? There's so much, and it's all-"

"I found the letter."

I blinked. "What letter's that?"

"The one Sabrina sent you. Back in February." He turned slightly, enough so I could see the profile of his face... and it was pretty stony. "So I know what's been going on between you two."

"Oh..." My heart began racing - how did he find it?  _When?_  I hadn't reread it in a week or two, so he could have ended up with it any time in there. "But, the thing is-"

"You don't have to say anything. Fact is, I should have known all along, should have been able to tell." He shook his head, chuckling in a powerless sort of way. "The secrecy, how your mind automatically considers her first... the way you always seem to pull away when we kiss. All the signs were there, and I- I was just too blind to pick up on them. Or I didn't see what I didn't want to."

Slowly, cautiously, I rose to my feet. "Adymm, you're not listening to me! This has all been blown  _way_ out of-"

"You're in love with her." It wasn't an accusation to him, but a simple statement. "She said in the letter that you'd been calling her, trying to talk to her. You've always had a thing for her, I could tell even back in Swords - and now she's back, and you guys are patching things up. But I'm here to tell you not to worry, because I'm fine with it. I don't hold anything against you."

"Really?" I asked fearfully; he didn't mind our past? Yeah, he was  _dead freaking wrong_ about most of it, but he didn't mind? That was huge!

"Of course not," he said with a sad smile. "I'm freeing you. Goodbye, Libby."

_END Chapter Fourteen_


	15. Cheer, Interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: ill-conceived (and unsuccessful) suicide attempt.

"Come again?"

"This is the end of us," he said simply. "Hey, it was a fun ride while it lasted."

"No, no you can't be doing this," I raved desperately, shaking my head. "Y-you don't know what you're saying, this is-"

"Hey!" He grabbed me by the shoulders, still wearing that bleak smile. "It's okay, you don't have to make a scene for me! Just... just go be with who you love. I'll be okay."

"But  _I won't_ , you idiot!" I screamed, suddenly angry at everything. "Why do people keep doing this, doing what they think is best for me, not asking me thing one?! Can't somebody sit down and  _listen_ for once?!"

Adymm only sighed as his arms dropped. "Fine. You want to do this the hard way? I'm listening."

"No, you're not!" Breathing slowly and deeply, I tried to make myself calm down, but it wasn't working. "I came over here to tell you Sabrina and I had this big fight, and that now we're not speaking to each other, and that Roxie and Ophelia might be  _thinking_ we're dealing with some kind of love... rhombus, or something! But I was hoping I could spill all this on you and that you'd actually absorb it! And that's not to mention what I found out about Sabrina last-"

"LIBBY." He was starting to get angry. "Please, just stop. This isn't helping your case, all these stories."

"But they're  _not_ stories! This is what's going on! Why doesn't anybody care what's really happening?!"

"Because no matter  _how_ it's happening, it  _is._ " He sighed, punching the wall. "Fact is, I've always been able to tell you and Miss Spellman had a thing going... even if  _you_ couldn't, which is a big 'if'. But I was hoping that it was an old high school crush that would fade in time."

"There's  _no crush!_  I've never-"

"What happened in Westbridge at Christmas?! And no more games, Libby!"

The time had come at last, it seemed. I knew this would only weaken my chances of getting him to listen to reason, but I couldn't stand all the deceit and mistrust anymore.

"One little kiss," I said flatly. "We were at a rave, somebody spiked my agua with some hefty meds, I was flying like a Boeing and I kissed her. That's the entire story."

"That's all, huh?"

"Isn't it enough?! You have no idea how freaked out I was -  _we_ were! It's not like it meant anything, but it was so strange to even think about!" I took a hesitant step toward him, reaching outward. "You have to believe me, nothing else is going on, it all stems from-"

"Roxie called me this morning."

Oh, for Chrissake. "What?"

"She told me something went down between you and Sabrina this week... and Ophelia, too, huh?" He turned to look at me, smiling this almost demented smile. "Actually, she was trying to figure out if I knew what was happening, and of course I knew. She helped me connect the dots, that's all. But Ophelia? Are you out of your-"

"So what, you two are ganging up on us, now? Deciding what our lives mean, who or what we're in love with? That's real nice, y'know!"

"Dammit, Libby, stop avoiding the issue! She slept over at your apartment! How am I supposed to think that's anything but-"

"You and I slept in the same hotel room, too," I countered. "But we're  _both_ still virgins - or I am, at least! Where do  _you_ get off telling  _me-_ "

"Do you or do you not love Sabrina Spellman?!"

In retrospect (I know, that's seldom followed by anything positive), I realise I should have answered sooner. But I didn't; I hesitated. Why? I knew the truth. But something about everything going to shit in the past couple days was messing with my head, and I was  _incredibly_ stressed, and- well, anyway.

_"Answer me!"_

"Of  _course_ not! I- I love  _you_ , Adymm, why can't you see that?!"

He blinked for a moment, almost as if I'd convinced him, before he shook his head. "I don't believe you. You may not think I know you by now, but I do, and I can tell when you don't believe what you're saying. Mostly because... that's the first time you've  _ever_ said it, and it sounded pretty forced."

My eyes flashed. "How dare you. I know I've told you how I feel before, and don't you  _dare-_ "

"Not like that. You'll say you can't live without me, or that I make your life so much more complete, or a million other things that sound real nice... but never once have you told me you love me. Not once."

"But... but I do!" Suddenly, I was saying this more to myself. "I- I am head over heels in love with Adymm Koriander, I know I am! Why... why doesn't anyone care?!"

"If you're only fighting this because you don't want to be outed, you don't have to worry; I'll keep your secret if you want me to. I hope you know I wouldn't be all vengeful like that."

"Outed? What-" And now he had hit a nerve, one that was very raw of late due to repeated abuse. "I am  _not_ a lesbian! Why does everybody keep trying to paint a rainbow on me?! There isn't a single bone in my body that likes girls, not no way, not no how! I am  _not_ the horse of a different colour!"

Adymm blinked. "Why are you quoting 'The Wizard Of Oz'?"

" _Shut up!_ " My fingers clawed at my scalp. Vaguely, I felt every mishap and disturbing revelation of the past week twinge like open sores. Senses began to fail; I couldn't hear, couldn't think, couldn't feel anything. Desperation had crept up on me, and it was straining to break loose and wreak its own particular brand of havoc - and worse still, it was winning. "J-Just shut the fuck up!"

"Libbs-"

"God, you- why can't anybody understand me anymore?! Am I not enunciating well enough? Do I need to brush up on my vocabulary? Everything and everybody is out to confuse a-and destroy everything I hold dear, and I- and I can't take it! There isn't one damn thing in my life that doesn't hurt anymore, it's t-too much for me to handle! It has to stop -  _I have to make it STOP!!_ "

Without thinking, without allowing time for anything else to make things even worse, I grabbed one of Adymm's spiked collars hanging on his bedpost and cut open my left wrist violently, spraying thick, red fluid all over his sheets.

_"LIBBY!!"_

"Stay back!" I screamed, poised to slash the other one as the pain throbbing up my arm and behind my temples threatened to send me further into the abyss. "Don't you  _dare_ touch me! The only way anybody can be happy is if I'm removed from the equation, right?! Sabrina hates me, you hate me, Roxie hates me-"

"I don't hate you!" he shouted, grabbing my forearms and standing fast against my thrashing; his eyes were so wide a Hummer could have gone in one and out the other. "Now, drop the collar!  _Drop it!"_

As he said that, my eyes focused on it; there was a drop of blood hanging from one of the spikes, and as I shook with my extreme rage, it fell down and splattered on the tip of his sock. Agonisingly, I forced my gaze to move to my wrist and see the ugly gash flowing silently.

"Oh God..." My breath caught in my throat as the collar fell from my hand and rolled across the hardwood. "What- what am I doing? Why are these things happening to me? So much... nobody's helping, and I can't help myself! I need help, Adymm - please help me!!"

And I broke down completely, a quivering mass of emotion and despair. Try as I might, I couldn't roll back those tears, and he didn't even try; he just held me, kissing the top of my head and patting my back, squeezing my wrist to help stop the flow. It must have lasted for hours, but time no longer had meaning - there was only me, him, and a bloody collar.

* * *

It was exactly 10:47 PM when Adymm and I walked into my living room, his hand in the small of my back, leading me gingerly. Don't ask me why I remember the time; I glanced up at the huge, blue-lit digital clock on the wall and it stood out for some reason. All the weeping and blood loss combined had left me fairly drained, and the bottle of orange juice in my other hand had only helped so much, so I wasn't quite up to my normal level of activeness yet.

"You should get some rest," Adymm was saying for the hundredth time. "For like, a few days."

"But I'm fine," I growled. "You keep trying to make a bigger deal out of this than it is."

"Libby, you-"

"Dad?" I asked weakly, looking around. "Are... are you home?"

"Libby."

When I looked over, it wasn't my father, and their faces were so somber I almost didn't recognise them. "Sabrina? Roxie, what are you two-"

And then my dad walked in from the kitchen, and I knew immediately. This was bigger than everything that had been going on, whatever it was. Bigger, and not better.

"Daddy?"

My friends (ex-friends?) stood rigidly. "We should go," Sabrina breathed.

"No, don't," I blurted; whatever was going on, I desperately wanted them to stay. What if this was my last chance to see them? Deliberately, I met Sabrina's eyes before I spoke again. "Please."

They glanced back at my dad, who only shrugged - so they returned to the couch.

"You may want to sit down, too, Libby," he said. Then, his eyebrow furrowed when he spied the bandage. "What happened to your wrist?"

"Just a scratch," Adymm told him quickly; I silently thanked him for that.

"Dad, what's... what happened?"

"Come on," he whispered; it was then I noticed how bloodshot his eyes were. "Let's sit down and-"

"Tell me!" My lip quivered. "Dammit, I can't take this from anybody else this week!"

For a moment, he watched me, watched the laboured way I was breathing and the ageless pain building up behind my eyes. Finally, he knew holding back wasn't going to make it any less horrible.

"I'm sorry, Libby," he said, laying his hand on my shoulder. "It's... your grandmother."

"Gran?" I breathed, clutching wildly for Adymm's hand. "Wh... what happened, is she okay?"

When after a long, eerie silence he only shook his head, I collapsed to the floor, and this time - sometime after 10:47 - I knew for certain that nobody would ever stem the river of tears.

_To Be Concluded... in Cheerless VI!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Happy Christmas, another Book Of Chessler has come to its final page. Ergh. Some very difficult things to write in this one... both the dramatic rain scene and Libby's discovery of hidden truth weren't easy to get right, but I tried my best. Ended up fairly well. Is this the end? Nuuuuup... but the next one probably will be. We'll see what I come up with. Bonus Points to anyone who figured out how Adymm got hold of the letter. Love and holiday wishes to you all!
> 
> Jessica X

**Author's Note:**

> Libby, Sabrina, et al. are © Hartbreak / Paramount / Whatever.  
> Adymm, Ophelia Jones, the members of In Absinthia, and this work of fiction are ©2008 myself.
> 
> Once more into the breach, right? Maybe I'm running it into the ground, but I swear to you, the ideas will NOT stop coming for this story - I could probably write Libby forever! However, I will stop eventually... I can't base my entire life around a single fanverse.
> 
> As you may have surmised from the ending of "Thread Breaking", the dynamic will be marginally different; Sabrina is about to insinuate herself within Libby's world (NYC), and therefore this installment is almost like taking the previous four and smashing them together... with somewhat volatile results. Funny thing - you wouldn't know it if you haven't read my other works, but I'm now actually living in upstate New York. Never in a thousand years did I envision I'd end up in the Empire State, but fate has a way of guiding you where you least expect. I feel like I followed Libby here!
> 
> For some reason, I waxed philosophical and wrote my own foreword (an abominable practise I hope never to repeat). It reads like a bad college prep essay. Anyway, hopefully you'll not be disgusted completely, and possibly even laugh a few times. Toodles!


End file.
